The Great Road Trip
by Pixel and Stephanie Forever
Summary: Voldemort has been defeated, and the world is safe once again. To celebrate, Harry decides on a road trip. He sets off to drive back to London with the 7th year Gryffindors along with Luna in tow. Hilarity ensures at every part of the entire journey home
1. The Start of A Journey

**The Start of A Journey**

Things slowly got back to normal after the defeat of Voldemort, and the clear up operation was well underway. Poppy Pomfrey, assisted by several teams from St Mungos helped to save the lives of those who had been injured, though some had died anyway as the result of attacks from Voldemort's forces. Harry and Hermione sat in the common room of Gryffindor tower and wondered what to do next. The Hogwarts express would be coming soon to take the surviving students away from the castle, so everyone was resting from the battle. Harry and Hermione decided that they would be returning to Hogwarts next term in order to complete their educations, but Hermione knew this wasn't bothering Harry.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, "And don't even bother to say nothing is wrong because I know there is" and Harry sighed before turning to look at her.

"I don't want to go on the Hogwarts Express" he told her.

"Why?" enquired a puzzled Hermione.

"I fancy doing something different" Harry replied, "And not using the Floo or by Apperatting either" and Hermione frowned.

"I was thinking more of driving down there to Grimmauld Place" Harry said. "I have a drivers licence, and all we have to do is get the camper van sorted" and Hermione asked Harry to repeat the whole process again to ensure that she didn't miss anything or misunderstand a single point.

"So it's just us two then?" she asked.

"Of course… unless you want to invite Ron along for the ride" Harry said teasing Hermione gently.

"No flaming way" the bushy haired teen spat out.

"I knew you would say that, so I asked around to see if anyone was interested" Harry told his companion, and he pulled out a piece of parchment with some names on it.

"Lets see…" she muttered to herself, "Dean, Seamus, Parvati, Lavender, Luna and Neville. _Neville_?" she asked Harry.

"He was the first person I asked" Harry said, and at that point, those people on the list came down from their respective dorms. "And here comes our brave explorers" he added, and they all had their trunks packed and ready to go. Luna had been with Lavender and Parvati which explained why she was in Gryffindor.

"All set" Dean said.

"But where do we get a camper van from?" asked Hermione , now totally confused at Harry's actions.

"We un-shrink it" he explained, and by use of the Marauders Map, they made their way down to the main doors which allowed them to get outside with little difficulty. Harry took the shrunken camper van out and returned it to normal. A very modern looking camper van sat gleaming in the sunlight, and those people on the clean up operations looked on in amazement as all eight of them loaded the trunks into the vehicle and then climbed in themselves.

"This is bizarre" Hermione said.

"I'm the expert in bizarre things" Luna said, "And this doesn't even qualify as odd" and the other burst into laughter at Hermione's expression. Lavender closed the door as Seamus and Luna looked over the fridge which was fully stocked with snacks and food, Hermione looked over the bedrooms while Harry and Dean went into the front seats.

"You want to drive?" Harry offered to his housemate.

"Let's face it Harry" Dean said back, "Who is more likely to be pulled over? Me or you?" and Harry had to admit that Dean had a point. He started the engine and the van moved off, while Parvati threw a letter out of a window.

_Dear Everyone_

_Do not worry – we are perfectly alright!_

_We decided to do our own celebrating, and have chosen to drive down to London on a Road Trip. Please do not bother looking for us, as the camper van is under an Anti-Tracking charm. We will lift it when we get near to London. See you all in a week!_

_Signed_

_Harry, Hermione, Dean, Seamus, Lavender, Parvati, Neville, Luna._

_Aka_

_The Happy Campers_

Once clear of the castle and Hogsmeade, Harry made for the nearest main road before heading towards Glasgow. They would park somewhere in the countryside overnight, and start driving again when they felt like it the following morning. It was agreed by all that it was one of the best times they had ever had, though the muggleborns and muggle raised amongst the group had to teach Luna a few things about muggle camper vans, and she seemed to pick it up quite well. Harry drove for around an hour or so before pulling up in the countryside deep in the woods. The camper van had been charmed to pass through small spaces – much like the Knight Bus was. Once safely parked, Dean and Neville set up the barbeque while Lavender and Hermione pulled steaks out of the freezer to cook. Parvati was helping Luna get plates out as Harry and Seamus got the drinks.

"This is nuts" Hermione said, "We've just defeated Voldemort and we go off camping?" and Harry laughed.

"Would you rather have stayed and faced the press?" he asked her.

"Perhaps this does have its merits" the girl admitted tucking into her steak.

"This is nice" admitted Lavender, "Open air eating, under the stars and with good food and company"

"I wouldn't give this up for anything" Dean said contentedly.

"It is quite agreeable" Luna said.

"I'm just glad that we got away from Hogwarts" Neville said, putting his steak down on the plate. "I couldn't have stayed much longer with all that death hanging around" and the others understood what he meant by that. The crackle of the barbecue was all that sounded in the woods until Seamus spoke.

"What we could do with now is some beers to wash this down with" he joked, and Harry turned to him and smiled.

"Funny you should mention that" and Harry clicked his fingers and a crate of beer came floating out of the camper and landed next to where they had sat. "That do you?" he asked, and laughter filled the area around the teens.

"I'll have a little bit" Luna said, "I don't want to go too drunk" and Harry poured her some into a quickly transformed goblet. Harry passed round a can to everyone else and they toasted the fallen from the battle before making a start. It seemed to be an unspoken idea to get completely drunk before going to bed and awaiting the hangovers in the morning.

"HOLD EVERYTHING!" Seamus said loudly, "As much as I'm enjoying the beer and steak session, do we not have any Guinness?" he asked, and Lavender went into the van to emerge seconds later with a small supply of the black stuff. She handed it over to the Irish boy before finishing off her steak. Parvati had already completed hers, and was now making moves on a second one – this surprising Harry somewhat as she and Lavender had always been worried about their weight.

"You going to drink all of those by yourself?" Neville asked dubiously, and Dean suddenly knew what his friend was going to.

"You're not going to do what I think are you?" he asked, and Seamus nodded at him with vigour.

"I am going to teach you English heathens how the Irish drink" and proceeded to share out the Guinness in equal measures. At 9:00 pm they started drinking it, and by 10:30 PM they had got completely drunk and had started singing very rude and obscene Irish drinking songs taught by Seamus. At the end of the currant song, Hermione looked like she was thinking of something, then she stood up and started to sing very loudly and very drunkenly.

_Oooohhhhhhhhh_

There once was a man from Nantucket  
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.  
While wiping his chin,  
He said with a grin,  
If my ear were a pussy, I would fuck it.

Harry, Dean, and Neville spluttered the last bit of beer as Hermione finished her ballad with gestures to graphically show what the gentleman from Nantucket would have done. Lavender, Parvati and Luna fell about laughing at the sight of Hermione Granger getting drunk and swearing like a trooper. As Harry was the most sober, a spectacular achievement in itself, he summoned the magical camera and took a few pictures of Hermione singing, dancing and swaying. Harry put out the barbecue and they all stood up and they all started to sing a song that Luna picked up on very quickly. A deep breath was taken by all before they started one last chorus.

_Show me the way to go home__  
__I'm tired and I want to go to bed__  
__I had a little drink about an hour ago__  
__And __or __it's gone straight to my head__  
__Where ever I may roam__  
__On land or sea or foam__  
__You will always hear me singing this song__  
__Show me the way to go home_

All in all this had been one of Harry's better days.

**A/N:**

**Alright then, I've actually told you all a big fib. I was actually working on this as there is nothing to show what Happens after the battle except to say that Harry went to sleep… big deal that! In this fic, we see sides of people not seen before and the gand have lots of humour and antics along the way back home to London. In case you have not yet realised it, this is definatly NOT canon so be warned my loyal and faithful crew!**

**The songs mentioned in the chapter are real drinking songs.**

**This is a departure from my other fics which have all been Sirius…sorry… serious ones, although I may have done a humour filled chapter every so often when I felt like it. Here we have a complete fanfic of it, so please tell me if you liked it as I will be doing more**

**Regards**

**Pixel**


	2. The Next Day

**The Next Day**

Hermione decided to open her eyes and discovered that it was daylight outside her bedroom window. Ignoring the pounding sensation between the sides of her head, she got up and showered – every room having a small one – before heading in to the main compartment. Harry was already up and cooking breakfast for everyone else and he was humming along to a little tune, adding words here and there.

"I do not care if you are the saviour of the world, Harry, but If you don't stop humming the theme tune to "The Smurfs", I will be forced to use the killing curse on you" she said, and Harry smiled at her.

"Good morning starchild" he greeted, "The world says hello" and Hermione grunted.

"I'd love to say hello to a pot of black coffee" she said, and Harry passed her a small coffee pot which was indeed full of black coffee.

"I see Miss Sleepyhead is up" Lavender giggled, and Hermione glared at her fellow Gryffindor with an evil look.

"Would you like something to eat?" asked Dean as he came back from the driving place. It now bore a small tacked on notice that read "_COCKPIT_".

"I think I'll stick with toast thanks" Hermione said, and buttered a few slices for herself.

"Bacons done!" called Harry, and the others came out from their bedrooms and sat round the magicly expanded table. Everyopne talked whilst eating breakfast until Hermione suddenly realised something.

"Did I do anything stupid last night?" she asked the others. They looked at each other before Seamus answered with hesitation.

"You got up and sung a song that had some obscene gestures" the Irish boy informed his fellow Gryffindor.

"Did I?" asked Hermione, and received nods from everyone as well as a few pictures from Harry. "Oh damn" she groaned, and put her head under her arms on the table.

"Those are the worst ones" Harry said lightly, winking at the others who grinned back at him, "The best ones I sent to the "_Daily Prophet_" who are going to print them" and Hermione's head shot up like a rife bullet.

"WHAT?" she shouted.

"Got you!" laughed Harry, then ducked out of the way of the flying toast slice that whized past his head. "That serves you right for what you did to poor Luna" and the aforementioned girl burst into some convincing tears and put her head on Parvati's shoulder while the other girl patted her back gently.

"What did I do?" Hermione asked, voice tinged with worry and concern.

"After we got you back in the van, you decleared your undying love to Luna. And I quote 'I want to be your slave and worship your body every day. Iwant to fel your silky skin under my fingers every morning when I wake' the poor girl believed you" and Hermione felt horrified and ashamed at herslef – until she saw the others smirking at her.

"I guess I was drunk then" Hermione said weakly.

"That is an understatement" Lavender told her.

"So what's the plan for today?" asked Seamus, finishing his plate of eggs and bacon.

"I was thinking of driving down to Carlisle and park on the hills near there. We can watch the muggle planes go overhead at night" Harry said, and they agreed that it was a good idea.

Hermione was now back to normal as they packed up the plates after washing them up the muggle way and seting off towards Carlisle. The moment they went past Gretna Green, Harry told the rest of the van that they where in England once again. They made a stop in the Carlisle and explored the place, visiting several museams along the way. The girls went shopping which made Harry glad that he had altered the inside of the camper van before leaving Hogwarts. Hermione – predicably – went to the library while Harry, Dean, Neville and Seamus went to the train station and had a drink at the station bar, courtasy of some fake ID. They only had the one as they wanted to be sober that day, and they also had a pub meal of chicken and chips in a basket. Harry looked at his friends before breaking into a low chuckle.

"Whats the matter?" asked Neville.

"Think about it" Harry said, "An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman…" and Dean got it at once.

"I just want to say thank you for inviting us along with you and Hermione for the ride. This is somehow better then the evenings in the common room" and Seamus nodded. They finished their meal then headed back to the camper van where they could hear someone in pain.

"I'm glad you got back" Hermione said, "Luna did her arm in and I had to set it, but I wanted someone else to check it for me but these two don't know the charm for it" and Neville stepped forward to do the right spell.

"You did it right" he said after a short while. Harry started to do a cup of tea for everyone while the girls swapped stories with the boys. Harry could hear them from the galley next door and he smiled as he thought about spending time with is house mates as well as Luna. It was only the second day and Harry was already wishing that he didn't have to finish the trip. Huge peals of laughter made him turn to see Parvati running and shouting at the others followed by several cushions converging at her stomach.

"Ah ha!" Parvati said trimuhphantly, "You can't kill a Hindu" and she dodged another phalanx of of cushions and hit her head on the corner of a cupboard. "Arghhh! Help me Jesus!" and Harry shook his head in wonder. He wouldn't have changed this for a single thing, and he went to see if Pavati was alright and then served everyone with the tea.

As they sat around the table once again, Dean asked Harry if he could put the camper van's radio on and Harry replied that he was welcome to. The reason for doing so was made clear after Dean adjusted the dial on the radio panel, and the interior filled with the sounds of Crystal Palace v West Ham. It didn't seem to be going well for West Ham as they where down 3 – 0 going towards half time. Luna commented that it was nice to hear some muggle sport. Dean seemed to be more concerned with the football match then he was with fighting Voldemort, and Harry suddenly had an idea. He remembered seeing a picture of the away team rooms at the palace grounds, so to thank Dean for all the help, Harry decided to partake in a little match fixing. He slipped into his room and pulled out his invisibility cloak along with the last bit of the _Felix Felicis_ potion. After telling the others what he was going to do, Hermione having no problem with what he was going to do, he left the camper van quietly and apperated on the spot. Luck was on his side as the changing room was empty, and Harry quickly put a drop in each player's water bottle or other such thing before returning to the camper van. Dean had not heard him leave or come back as he was slouched in the passenger seat at the front listening to the match.

"Where is Parvati?" asked Harry, noting that she was not around.

"She went for a lie down" Lavender said, and Harry rolled his eyes at the thought of Parvati getting tired from shopping, or perhaps it was from hitting her head The football game seemed to have changed for the better as Dean suddenly started cheering as West Ham scored goal after goal. By the end of the second half, West Ham had gone level and then finished off by scoring one last goal right on the final whistle. Dean danced around the van in total joy at hearing his team win the match.

"It was like they all had a dose of luck in their water drinks" Harry said innocently.

"You didn't!" roared Dean in laughter as he realised what Harry had done. After they had calmed Dean down, it was time to move out to the woods and Harry sat down to drive. Meanwhile Hermione and the girls were sat doing a set of questions in a muggle magazine.

"That one is silly" said Lavender.

"What is?" asked Neville.

"This question" Hermione said, "How would you describe your sex life?" she quoted from the magazine. There was a long silence until Seamus answered the question.

"I would describe my sex life as being like a tube of Pringles" he said with an air of authority.

"How is that?" asked Luna.

"Once you pop, you just can't stop" and Seamus went back to his book.

"BOYS" said all four of the girls – Parvati having come back into the main area. A light hearted argument broke out until Harry came back from the driver's seat.

"Do I have to separate you?" he asked.

"I think the bigger question is 'Who is driving the camper van?' Harry" Luna said, and Harry realised where he was and dashed back to the wheel.

"DON'T DISTRACT ME" he called back. The little hop from Carlisle to just outside Scotch Corner was only about thirty minutes or so, as Harry had to deal with traffic in the city centre. They parked within yards of the famous roundabout, in a little lay-by with a greasy spoon which had put Lavender, Parvati and Luna off slightly. They thought a greasy spoon was one that hadn't been cleaned. Harry went over to the little brick building and examined the menu before returning to the camper.

"What do they have to eat?" asked Parvati, "I'm hungry" she added. Harry simply took the pensive from his trunk and placed the memory of himself viewing the menu screwed onto the wall, and then tapped it to make it display the image like a giant hologram of some sort.

"See for yourself" Harry said, and sat back to take the orders.

#

"Can I help you?" asked the woman behind in the cooking area.

"Evening" Harry said, "I'd like three Belly Busters, a couple of sausage and bacon sandwiches with brown sauce, a dozen bacon sandwiches with ketchup on two of them, two toasted cheese sandwiches, eight sausage rolls, three packets of Salt and Vinegar, two Plain, one Cheese and Onion, two Prawn Cocktail, eight Milkybars and a couple of the homemade pies please" Harry said. Yes that's right, when Gryffindors and Ravenclaws get hungry, they REALLY get hungry!

"That'll be £210.50" the woman said weakly – not even coaches made that big an order.

"Oh I nearly forgot" Harry said, nearly forgetting an important thing, "Eight teas please" and the woman said that after that big an order, the teas came free. Harry spent an eventful ten minutes pottering (A/N: Pun intended) back and forth between the camper van and the greasy spoon carrying all of the food and the teas. When he went for the final time, the woman serving and cooking was in a state of exhaustion from all of the rapid cooking she'd just been doing.

#

While Harry and group tucked into their food, the Ministry was in a complete panic. Despite their best efforts, they could not find the eight anywhere, and this was what was causing the panic. Harry was the saviour of the entire world, and as such was a high profile target. It had been said that perhaps Harry had been kidnapped by renegade forces of Voldemort, but a check of the numbers of dead Death Eaters had disproved this theory. Kingsley Shaklebolt, temporary Minister for Magic – he being the senior surviving Auror – was hoping that Harry would come back sooner then he had said, in order for them to protect him and keep him under guard. At one point he had asked Hedwig to take a message to her master, but the owl had refused. What Hedwig had actually done was raise one leg, curl up her first and second talons and give Acting Minister Kingsley Shaklebolt the Owl version of "the finger". All of those people who had seen that had burst into laughter at Kingsley going ballistic as Hedwig hooted something that could well have been instructions for him to fornicate away. Harry definably had some explaining to do when he surfaced again.

#

Inside the camper van, almost everyone was sat round the seating area and was watching the TV that Harry had managed to fix up to work. As for Harry, he was outside trying change a wheel that looked a little flat – he refused to use magic for the big tasks, except for when he had to lift heavy things. Harry had spent a good twenty minutes looking it all up in the instruction manual, but he was having no luck at all. Perhaps it was time for his wand after all. With the aid of a few simple spells, Harry and Dean managed to change the wheel after all, and they went back in to eat the remaining bacon sandwiches that had been put under warming charms by Luna. The film was Babylon 5: In The Beginning, and everyone was silent as they saw the final battle of the line.

"That reminds me of the fight at Hogwarts" Parvati said quietly.

"I know" Neville said, "But we won, and that is all that matters. People had the chance to escape the thing, but they choose to stand on the line and fight until they couldn't anymore" and for Neville that was deep.

"Enough of this sadness" Seamus said, looking at his watch. "By my reckoning, the time is beer o'clock" and they all chuckled. Feet got put up on seats and they had a good time drinking beer and just chilling out. Nobody really wanted to mention the Second dark War anymore, and so it was quietly not said by anyone. They all started to play poker – Neville, Dean and Seamus being demons at the game, and soon Hermione was out of the first game – her intelligent mind not picking up on the game that well.

"Sandwiches are done" Lavender said, and came back from the galley with a large platter full of various sandwiches, along with the packets of crisps that Harry had purchased before. He was paying for all this himself, but there was not one part of him that minded. After all the suffering at the hands of the Dursleys, Dumbledore's manipulations and Voldemort, Harry was finally allowed to be himself and enjoy a summer for once. Money changed hands, and people got slightly drunk until only Dean and Seamus where left in the game. Harry looked around at the scattered people around the table, and noticed that Luna had gone away, and in fact there was a distinct buzzing noise emanating from her room.

"Anyone know what that is?" he asked.

"…" was Hermione's answer. She had fallen asleep on the sofa with her feet hanging off the end.

"We'd beartter fiend ourt" said a clearly sizzled Dean, and so they went back to Luna's room.

"Luna?" Parvati said, knocking on the bedroom door. Luna didn't reply for her or for the other six's knocks so Harry decided, (being the owner of the camper van), to open the door and check on Luna. He turned the handle and put his head round the corner, and looked into the room beyond. Luna was lying on her bed completely naked and looked directly at Harry and the boy blushed and quickly closed the door again.

"So" Harry began, looking at Parvati and Lavender, "Which one of you took Luna Lovegood to Ann Summers?" he asked, blushing from what he had seen in the Ravenclaws room.

**A/N:**

**So the second exciting chapter in the Great Hogwarts Road Trip story. Everything that is in this chapter is totally real except for a slight change. I moved the Palace v West Ham game forward by two days so it fit into the cannon timeline. The score is also altered somewhat, but not by too much. The café at Scotch Corner is real, and serves everything that Harry and the group ordered.**

**For those people not in Britain, or who do not know what a pub meal is, I will explain. A pub meal is something that you can eat at the bar or at a table. A true pub meal consists of chicken and chips with enough gravy to float a boat on.**

**If you don't know what Ann Summers is, then I suggest that you Google it.**

**Regards**

**Pixel**


	3. The Third Day

**The Third Day**

Harry was still up in the early hours of the morning, looking out of the door at the star filled sky. Even though she trod lightly, Harry head the footsteps and he spun round and pointed his wand at Luna.

"Sorry" he said, lowering it and placing it back under pocket, "Force of habit" and Luna told him that she was not harmed in any way. She sat down and pulled her dressing gown over her pyjamas a bit tighter before taking the cop of hot chocolate offered to her from Harry. "About earlier" Harry said, "I'm sorry I barged in on you like that, but you didn't open the door and I was a bit worried" and Luna gave him a warm looking smile.

"There was no harm done" she told him, "You were simply concerned about your friend, and I'll put a silencing charm on my door when I do it again" and then she paused before adding, "You could join me in my room for another session. I don't mind you watching" and Harry was pleased that he didn't go red.

"I'll give that a pass, thank you all the same, Luna" he spoke, then looked up again at the stars.

"You won't see shooting stars" Luna told him, "Not right time of year" and Harry nodded.

"I was just wondering what the wizarding world thinks of our little unplanned vacation. It was one of the reasons I put an Anti Tracking charm on the camper van – to stop the ministry from taking me into protective custody. Had enough of that at the flaming Dursleys" Harry added bitterly.

"Where shall we go today then?" Luna asked, changing the subject quickly away from his relatives.

"I don't know" Harry admitted, "I think we should go south, towards York and round that part. I've always wanted to go to the railway museum" and Luna added a yes vote in support of Harry's idea. After Luna had finished her chocolate, she Harry a goodnight – or rather a good morning – and returned to her room. As for Harry Potter, he shut the door to the camper van and sat down behind the steering wheel and listened to the radio which he turned down low, after first retrieving the pot of coffee he had brewed for himself – the hot chocolate for Luna was simply conjured from thin air. As he listened to an all night phone in show, his mind went to thought of the Ministry.

#

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HIM?" demanded Kingsley loudly.

"He seems to have done several nicely crafted charms to prevent him and his friends from being followed" said one Auror.

"Did you question the pupils in Potter's house?" and the Auror nodded, "Well?" Kingsley pressed.

"Nobody knows anymore then we do. All we know is that he will appear in a weeks time" said the second Auror.

"So all we need to do is to wait outside Grimmauld Place to get him" Kingsley mused. "We don't want to do this, but we have to be certain we have a weapon that can defeat the next Dark Lord" and Kingsley staff nodded in approval.

#

It was so like Harry to do something like this, and Professor McGonagall raised a small glass of whiskey to Harry – wherever he was at that moment. What surprised the newly appointed headmistress, was that Hermione had followed along with the other 7th year Gryffindors long with Luna. What had been downright puzzling was the fact that they had left Ron Weasley behind, but McGonagall could hear unspoken disapproval from both Harry and Hermione concerning the youngest Weasley male. It seemed that he had walked out on them halfway through their escape from the previous summer. Personally, McGonagall couldn't blame the two – Ron Weasley was a spoilt boy who always moaned when things did not go his way. The Professor just hoped that the seven travelling companions where making Harry's life a good deal better.

#

"I was thinking that we could go to Morecambe" Harry said.

"What's at Morecambe?" asked Dean.

"It's a seaside town, and I thought we could hire a boat for a while and go sailing" Harry said.

"I've always wanted to sail the seas" Luna commented, "It's so dreamy, romantic and beautiful" and Neville shook his head.

"Nothing can be more beautiful then you" he told her, and Luna's eyes went as wide as saucers at the disclosure.

"You think I am beautiful?" she asked him.

"Yes" Neville said, going bright red in the face. "When you got snatched by Death Eaters, I hoped and prayed that I would see you again. When I saw you at Hogwarts that night, my heart soared" Neville went over to the girl and held her hands in his own.

"Would you like to be my boyfriend?" she asked, and Neville saw Luna's eyes fill with tears of joy and happiness.

"The honour would be all mine" Neville said, and put a short kiss on the Ravenclaw's lips.

"This calls for a drink to celebrate" Dean said.

"But it isn't even 12pm yet" Hermione protested.

"It is in New Zealand" Harry grinned wickedly, "It is in New Zealand" and he reached for the bottle of Whiskey that was in the cabinet – courtesy of Seamus.

#

The ministry was going totally spare at Harry's vanishing act. It was Kingsley's wish to have Harry put under guard so that they had a weapon to fight with. If it came to it, the Minister was prepared to put Harry under house arrest. His fellow students were questioned, but not a single one could say anything that was useful. Nobody had had any contact with Harry or the group – but that was all to change later on.

#

The group left Scotch Corner and headed back west for a little while until they reached the turning for Appleby, which they took all the way there. Upon reaching Appleby, Harry stopped to let Hermione drive for the first time on the trip. With Harry navigating, Hermione drove them the remaining distance and they parked up on the sea front. Once there, Harry wasted no time in hiring a boat and all eight of them went sailing. The water was calm as Harry took them round the bay and then out to sea. Luna and Neville sat together with the girl in Neville's arms, and Parvati looked over at them. At least two people had got together; it was now a question of who the remaining six would pair up with. She had a crush on Seamus for a long time, though she would never admit it to him. As they came about and headed back to the pier, Lavender spotted another boat that seemed to be having a bit of trouble and she pointed it out to the others.

"That's going to be tricky" Seamus commented. They were close enough to see that the boat appeared to have a family onboard, and Harry turned the wheel over to Hermione before glancing at them with a pair of binoculars.

"I bet they will be feeling sick when they get back to land" he said. The slightly choppy water was also affecting them, but not as badly as their boat was in the shelter of the bay. They headed back out again to give the others a tow back to calmer waters, and they had got within 25ft when the girls all screamed at the same time as the mother on the other boat did so.

"Fuck" Harry cursed, and watched as in slow motion the youngest child fall over the side and into the water. Harry shoved Hermione out of the way and moved the boat closer, and then brought the engines to a full stop.

"What can we do?" Luna asked, voice full of fear.

"I'm going to save the kid" Harry said, Neville has the wheel until I get back" and Hermione tugged on his arm.

"You're going to break the secrecy statutes, aren't you?" she asked. "You know that they will put you in Azkaban for that" and Harry gently but firmly released himself.

"I would rather spend time in Azkaban, knowing that I saved a life, then to let them drown" and without saying more, Harry kicked off his shoes and dived into the water.

"What do we do?" asked Hermione – nothing came to mind for this situation.

"Stand-by to pick up survivors" Neville said, and he looked into the waters below.

Harry swam as hard as he could and saw the descending body of the little girl drop further into the depths of the sea. Harry knew there was no other way, and he spoke the word Accio in his mind, and the girl came zooming back upwards to him. He turned round in the water and swam one handed up to the surface. A simple levitation charm lifted them into the other boat where the mother hugged her soaking wet daughter with tears running down her face. Harry stunned all three of them and gestured for the others to come closer. He asked Hermione to modify the memories of the family so that they had no knowledge of Harry, his use of magic or of the accident at all. While she was doing that, Harry dried himself off and then the family, before charming the stunned to return to normal, though he froze them in place for ten minutes while Harry apperated the entire boat away from them, and back to the pier. It was pure luck that no one saw them appear out of nowhere, and it was agreed that they had to leave at once. Harry started the engine and headed off to Leeds – turning eastward and to York.

#

The door nearly flew off it's hinges as Kingsley heard the running footsteps and saw an Auror came dashing into his office.

"We have him" she said triumphantly.

"Harry Potter?" Kingsley asked, "Where?"

"Morecambe. It is a little seaside town on the west coast. He cast several charms and spells, and we also picked up another signature, but it was drowned out too badly by Potter's for us to read" the Auror reported.

"Get as many Aurors as they're are on duty, and have them scout around the area, We must find Harry Potter" Kingsley ordered, and the Auror left to carry out the orders. All he had to do was file that marriage form and everything would be in place.

#

Harry was tired from the driving and from the swimming that he had to do. Once they had found a spot for the night, Harry parked the camper van and then gave the rest of the party a load of money before saying that he was going to sleep. They had a great time going round York where Dean and Seamus went missing. The two of them got tracked down to the end of Platform 8 at York railway station – train spotting. It took a full hour for Hermione, Lavender, Parvati, Neville and Luna to convince the two boys to leave, and they took a bus back to the camp site. Harry was up again and had changed into different and warmer looking clothes. He was manning the stove and cooking Spaghetti Bolognaise, and the others thanked him for being thoughtful. Harry served everyone one up with an equal share and gave them a glass of cool, frosted, refreshing beer to sup whilst eating.

"While I would love to eat your cooking until the Earth breaks up, I think that we will do the cooking tomorrow night" Lavender said, and Harry agreed to the idea.

"I would love to see what you all come up with" he replied, and the Magnificent Seven started to plot a thank you dinner for Harry.

"I was thinking that the Ministry will be trying to track you down" Hermione said.

"A magical core trace?" asked Lavender.

"Exactly" Hermione said, pleased that the other girl knew what she was on about.

"And for those of us who have no idea what you mean…?" Harry said.

"A magical trace is when the Ministry looks for a certain person by tracing the magical core of the person in question" Lavender said.

"Right" Hermione agreed, "And the reason that they never did it with Voldemort was because too many signatures" and she explained the whole process with Lavender's help.

"But they can not track the camper van?" Harry asked.

"No" Hermione replied, "The spells cast to shield it where cast at Hogwarts. Your signature was diluted by the spells cast during the battle" and Harry nodded, happy in the knowledge that the camper van was safe from assault by Aurors.

"I was thinking of spending another day here" Harry said. "York has so much to offer, and we can go visit the Museums, do some shopping, and just have a good time. Then we can make a little visit to a city called Hull" and Hermione looked eager to do that.

"That's where William Wilberforce was born and lived" she said excitedly.

"Who?" asked Luna.

"Muggle who campaigned against the slavery of people with my skin colour" Dean said. "Hermione reminded me of him when she did that whole Elf Liberation thing" he added.

"Well I vote for that" Parvati said, "At the very least, this road trip means we can all ace muggle studies next year" and everyone agreed.

"Are we planning to do anything tonight?" asked Dean.

"Not really" Harry replied, "Though if you want to do something then I'm not stopping you" he added.

"I was thinking that we could all go clubbing" Dean said.

"That's a good idea" Hermione said, and the others looked at her. "I do like to let my hair down a little bit" she smiled, and after they finished the dinner, they went to their rooms and put on some interesting outfits. As the gathered in the galley, they noticed Harry take something from the counter top.

"Why are you taking your wand?" asked Neville.

"I guess it's kind of a habit" Harry admitted, tucking into the inside of his shirt. "After all that went on last year, it rarely left my side" and the others could understand. "And with the Ministry looking for us, I just want some back up" and he opened the door and stepped out of the camper van followed by the others. They had to get a muggle taxi into York city centre, but once there the eight had a good time. They visited a good many clubs and Harry, Dean, Seamus and Hermione ended up singing karaoke songs. At the very last one they visited, Seamus got the final song of the night, and he had a quiet word with the D.J. before asking Harry to do a little transfiguration for him. Harry returned from the toilet with a hat in the colours of the Irish flag and top with a foot wide shamrock to top it off. When his turn came up, the D.J. said it was last orders and then started playing an old Irish drinking song:

_Well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off  
Well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off  
You're like a herd of bloody swine that refuse to leave the trough  
You'll get no more this evening so you better bugger off_

_You've been a splendid audience but aye your time has passed  
So don't you all be letting that door hit you in the ass  
You've been a splendid audience but oh enough is enough  
We'd take it very kindly if you'd all just bugger off_

_Well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off (fuck you)  
Well, bugger off, you bastards, bugger off (fuck you)  
You're like a herd of fuckin' swine that refuse to leave the trough  
You'll get no more this evening so you better bugger off_

At the end of the song, there was a round of cheering for Seamus, who took a bow and then stepped off the stage and rejoined his friends.

"Not bad singing" Parvati said, her ears completely red from the drink. It had been discovered that she, along with Luna, Hermione and Lavender, could hold their drinks as well as the boys.

"Well I had to do justice to my countrymen, didn't I?" asked Seamus, grinning from ear to ear. They went into the street outside which had turned black with the advance of night, and they set off to look for a taxi. They walked along the streetlight illuminated pavement and talked amongst themselves. They took a shortcut through side street and where halfway down when a cat jumped onto a bin – the resulting sound made Harry spin and fire off an ___Expelliarmus_ which caused more sound.

"Damn it" Harry growled, "I thought Death eaters for a moment" and he shook his head. His wand was almost back into his shirt pocket when the popping noise alerted him to multiple persons apperating into the area.

"Stay where you are, Potter" demanded a voice.

"Who is there?" Harry called out to them.

"Ministry Aurors" replied the voice, "You're to return with us to be placed under protective custody. You are to be isolated in order to save us from the next great evil" and the Aurors came closer.

"Eh eh eh" Harry said, and with a rapid movement of his wand, all but the Auror who had spoken sat on the ground tied up in thick ropes. The Auror reacted with lightning speed and sent a very powerful and borderline light/dark spell at Harry. Harry simply allowed the spell to get with 1 millimetre of his body before apperating on the spot and reappeared in front of the Auror with his wand pointing at the man's head – slapping the Auror's to the ground.

"I'll have you facing charges…" the man said hesitantly, but Harry simply waved him off.

"I suggest that you go back to the Ministry and tell Kingsley that I am not his servant, and if he wants me to help him out, then he is to ask me first. I assume that you understand that?" Harry asked, and the Auror nodded. "Now my friends and I are going back to our banana shaped apple and finish our sandwich making contest" the last bit was complete nonsense, but it would have the effect of making the Ministry go crazy trying to figure that sentence out. Harry turned away from the Auror and went back to his friends.

"Little twat" Luna said.

"My words exactly, my dear" Neville said.

"I can't believe…" and Harry was thrown forward by the force of another spell from the Auror. It sent him slamming into the wall of a building several feet away, and the group regretted the fact they had left their wands behind. The Auror was grinning and moved closer to bind Harry, but the others formed a semi circle around him while Hermione checked on Harry.

"Go ahead" Neville said.

"Make my day" Luna added.

"Punk!" was Seamus's contribution.

"Step aside" the Auror ordered, then looked amazed at the sight behind the teens. Harry was standing up and looking over himself to check for any injuries.

"My jeans" he said darkly, "You've torn my jeans" and Harry looked at the Auror. "_NOW _I am mad!" and Harry simply snapped his fingers and the Auror was bound and gagged like his companions.

"What are we going to do now?" Lavender asked.

"I'm going to send these little buggers home" Harry said. He walked over to the pile of crumpled Aurors, his attacker bumping along behind him. "Be a second" he called, and vanished. He came back and looked at his watch. "Three seconds? Oh well… wasn't that slow" and he repaired his jeans with a wave of his wand.

"Are you alright?" asked a concerned Hermione.

"Somewhere after midnight… In my wildest fantasy…" Harry replied, and without warning he apperated them directly to the camper van. "I'm going to bed" he said after going inside, and he slammed the door to his room shut.

I'm going to have a little potion induced sleep, and then get us out of here" Hermione said, and retired to her own room. Lavender, Dean, Seamus, Neville and Luna all looked at each other in turn. After all their time spent at Hogwarts, they knew it didn't bode well if Harry James Potter was pissed off. Voldemort found that out the other day! They could only hope that Harry calmed down and put it behind him in order to enjoy the rest of the road trip.

**A/N:**

**I have two references for you, one is a film while the other is lyrics from a song in a line spoken by Harry. The song that Seamus sings is a true Irish drinking song… I suggest you youtube it under the name "Bugger Off"**

**I have an announcement to make: On Wednesday 7****th**** October… I'LL BE 21! WOO HOO!!! **

**I would also like to say that I am a little bit upset with some of you. I got 13 reviews for chapter one… dropping to six for chapter 2. If you want to give me an early birthday present, I would very much like you to give me a ton of reviews.**

**I would also like to hear what you think Kingsley is doing, or planning to do with Harry.**

**Reviews and PM's in the normal manner**

**Regards**

**Pixel**


	4. The Fourth Day

**The Forth Day**

The alarm clock went off in Hermione's room, and she woke from her potion induced sleep, and the girl quietly showered and dressed. When Hermione left her room she noticed that someone was already awake, and moving forward she discovered Dean and Lavender talking next to Dean's illuminated wand tip.

"Morning" they greeted her.

"Morning" Hermione replied, picking up a mug and pouring herself a coffee. "Anything I should know about?" she asked, supping at the hot black liquid.

"Nothing really" Lavender said.

"Just wondering who was going to end up with who" Dean put in.

"So who do I go with?" Hermione asked.

"Oh we've got you paired up with Harry" Lavender informed her grandly.

"Now why aren't I surprised at that?" Hermione questioned her coffee mug. "So are you together?" and Dean shook with silent laughter.

"I guess that books can tell you almost everything" Lavender giggled. "Seamus and Parvati are the other two" and Hermione frowned.

"Why not you two?" she asked, and Hermione missed the little wink that Dean gave to Lavender.

"Didn't you know?" he asked Hermione with an innocent voice, "I'm a raging queen" and Hermione's jaw dropped for a moment before she cottoned on to the look Lavender gave to Dean.

"But you and Harry are the only ones who aren't together, we simply just figured you and he had been together everywhere last year…" Lavender let the sentence go unfinished.

"Well we didn't go everywhere" Hermione countered, feeling much looser then she had for a long time. "I'm going to start driving to Hull" and she got up from the galley.

"Have a refill" Dean said, and quickly topped Hermione's mug to the top again.

"My brain thanks you" Hermione said, saluting them both with the mug before going forward to the driver's seat. Starting the engine with very little noise, she released the handbrake and left the campsite before turning onto the A1079 to Hull. As it was still quite early, Hermione turned off a little while before they reached Hull and proceeded to go along the A63. The camper van cruised down the road which was lit only by streetlamps, and Hermione parked them on the foreshore of the river. Lavender had returned to her bed, and it left Dean to come forward and put his feet up on the dashboard and talk to Hermione.

"I'm concerned about Harry" he said, "After what happened in York, I think it could have done him a world of bad" and Hermione nodded.

"All Harry wants is to relax and try to put what happened behind him. The Ministry however want to lock him away like some bloody prized procession that they want to keep safe" and Hermione shook her head sadly.

"I personally can't wait to see what they do when we all come back to the wizarding world" Dean replied, and Hermione looked quizzically at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Harry swore me to secrecy about it" Dean told her throwing up his arms, and he got up and returned to his room to shower and change. He also had to get the breakfast started as he was a pretty decent cook – just didn't have much chance to demonstrate it while at Hogwarts.

#

Harry had been awake for a short while before he rose, and his mind considered the events of earlier that morning. The problem that Harry worried about was if the Ministry had put some kind of tracking spell on him, and he resolved to ask Hermione to check later that morning. After getting up, showering and dressing in clean clothes, Harry went into the living area and greeted the others who were already up and about.

"Going for a paper" he announced.

"Got one already" Seamus announced, throwing a copy of "_The Sun_" expertly to him.

"Cheers" Harry said, and sat down behind the table.

"Here's your breakfast" Dean said to Harry, and placed a plate full of bacon, spam, fried bread, fried eggs, sausages, hash browns, tomatoes, beans and mushrooms.

"Here's your tea" Lavender said, and passed him a mug full of tea the way he liked it. Harry tucked into his breakfast, and when he finished it he complimented Dean on his cooking skills.

"You liked it?" Dean asked.

"As good as anything I ever tasted" Harry declared.

"So you'll want to be having this then?" Dean questioned, putting an identically filled plate full of the same stuff again.

"I appreciate this" Harry said, picking up his knife and fork once again.

"And we appreciate the fact you invited us along for the road trip" Parvati said, "You could have invited anyone, but you choose us – your fellow Gryffindors" she added.

"Ahem ahem" Luna coughed just like Umbridge used to do.

"Oh, and Luna as well" Parvati quickly amended.

"That's better" Luna quipped, and the group laughed at Luna's quick reply.

"What have you lot got planned for today?" Harry asked between mouthfuls.

"I was hoping to go to Waterstones" Hermione said.

"I should have guessed that you would pick a bookshop" Harry said, "And what do the rest of you have planned?. Not that I mind what you do, I just wanted to know what you all do while on holiday" he added.

"We planned to go sightseeing and do some shopping for dinner" replied Neville.

"Oh of course" Harry said, "You're doing dinner tonight aren't you?" Harry said, and the others nodded. Harry finished his second plate of breakfast and placed it in the sink. He gave the sink a quick glance and then the dishes, knives, forks, spoons and pans started to clean themselves. They walked into Hessle where Harry withdrew some money from the hole in the wall. He shared out the money between the members of the group, and then quickly apperated back to the camper van as he had forgotten to get the camera. Once Harry had returned to them, they boarded the bus and took the 56A service journey to Hull City Centre.

"This is brilliant" Hermione said as they rode on the top deck.

"Really?" Harry asked.

"Oh yes" Hermione said happily, "I really love travelling on Routemasters. They look so much smarter then some of these modern buses" and Harry had to agree with her.

"They're not bad little things are they?" Seamus said. As it was early morning the eight of them where the only people on the bus apart from the driver and the conductor – the bus being a two man operation.

"Is this the only service they run on?" Harry asked, his mind slipping into tactical planning mode.

"No" Hermione said, "They also run Service 3, Service 4 and Service 56. Why do you ask?" she enquired.

"No reason" Harry said, "Just wondering" and he made it a point to find out where this bus's owning company was located and see if he couldn't arrange an all day free pass for Hermione. Once they had arrived at the old bus station, Harry asked the driver if he could wait a moment so he could take a picture. The driver agreed, and Harry took several snaps for the album.

"Where shall we meet up?" asked Lavender.

"How about we meet up at about half one outside the Art Gallery?" Harry suggested.

"Sounds good" the others agreed, and they split up to do what they had planned. The girls minus Hermione went shopping, Seamus and Neville went to go and get some stuff for the dinner later that – apperating back and forth, Dean went off to get some thing that Harry required while he accompanied Hermione round the bookshop. True to form it took a full three hours to go round it, and even then Hermione believed she missed out some items. Harry had given up and had sat in the bookshop's coffee bar.

"What did you buy?" asked Harry as he looked at the old style brown paper bags. It was something he liked about places like Waterstones – it was a quaint old custom.

"I got a few fiction books to read" Hermione replied. Harry glanced over the till receipt to inspect the titles: I'm Not Going, A Year Without Harry, Never Assume The Worst, True Friends and Leaving Hogwarts.

"Leaving Hogwarts?" he raised an eyebrow at Hermione.

"Hogwarts mansion in America" Hermione said, "Though I did see the irony considering what we did the other day" and Harry smiled. They finished their coffees and then left the bookshop and went to look at some art materials. Dean's birthday was soon and Harry knew his fellow Gryffindor was an avid art fan. Using his cards, Harry and Hermione purchased one set of every item in the shop – 'just to be on the safe side' as Hermione said as the pair left the shop. Hermione being a woman, had decided to not carry many of the bags herself. Harry Potter – saviour of the entire world was now walking around a bust city centre disguised as a human shaped shopping trolley. They met up with the others outside the Art Gallery and went into a little pub named 'The Punch' which was set between it and a shopping centre. They walked in to discover it was almost like a trip back in time. The place was filled with highly polished wood and even had a wooden bar counter. A little kitchen was in the back and a portly man come out and served food to the customers from time to time.

"I vote we have lunch here, then board the bus for home" Harry said, voice tinged with wondrous delight at discovering the rich fittings inside the pub. The others nodded and sat down in a little snug while Harry ordered the drinks.

"Can I help you?" asked the barmaid.

"I hope so" Harry said, "I'd like seven pints of Carling and a Guinness" and the barmaid nodded and pulled the pints from traditional hand pumps. Harry paid for the drinks and took them two at a time to the snug. "Could I have a menu?" Harry asked, and the barmaid nodded and handed him two of them.

"Leila!" said the voice of the portly man in the kitchens, "Two roasts for table 5" and the barmaid, the same one that had served Harry, looked to the other barmaid.

"Get that for me would you, Jess?" she asked.

"Sure, Bolton" Jess replied, and she took the meals to the correct tables before returning to behind the bar.

"We've only been here five minutes" Seamus said, drinking from his Guinness, "But I feel like I could always come here" and Parvati nodded.

"Reminds me a bit of the 'Leaky Cauldron' and stuff" she said.

"It is brighter though" Luna put in.

"True" Neville said. They poured over the menu and decided to try out the steak pie and chips with gravy, carrots, peas and fresh spring cabbage. The meal was 'exquisite' as Hermione put it, and it was a sentiment shared by all. After they had finished, and the plates cleared, Harry ordered another set of drinks. As he waited at the bar, he noticed a man standing next to him and looking at Harry.

"Can I help you?" he asked carefully.

"Are you him?" the man asked. The man was wearing an American style jacket, short black hair and wearing blue jeans with blue trainers. "I mean are you really him?" he asked.

"Depends on who you mean?" Harry said, hand ready for his wand. The man looked around before leaning in and speaking to Harry in a hushed tone which was barely above a whisper.

"Harry Potter" the man said, and Harry's eyes went wide and he flipped his head around to see if any Aurors he knew would be coming into the pub.

"I take it that you're a wizard?" Harry said, and the man nodded.

"I am. The name's Robert" he replied, "And don't worry about the Aurors, I'm with you on this one" and Harry was instantly relived.

"You want to come and meet the rest of us?" Harry said, and the man beamed and replied that he would very much like to.

"Can Joe come over as well?" Robert asked, "He's a muggle but he would love to meet you" and Harry frowned at Robert.

"A Muggle? What about the Secrecy laws?" but Robert smiled.

"He knows all about our world, and he has never blabbed anything to anyone" Robert assured him, and Harry decided that he might as well – in the interests of muggle relations and all of that nonsense. The three came over and Harry introduced the pair to the group.

"What do you do in the muggle world?" Harry asked Robert, keen to know the answer.

"I work as a bus driver" Robert said, "As for my companion and partner in crime, Joe M Jackson," he indicated Joe, "He writes a few books but mainly writes Fanfiction" and even Hermione was confused.

"What's Fanfiction?" she asked.

"Fans of things like books, TV shows, movies and so on write their own stories based on the characters. Joe puts his on an internet site called Fanfiction dot net, though to be honest with you, I don't think anything will come of it" and Joe looked daggers at his friend, before turning to Harry.

"I can't believe that I'm meeting Harry Potter at last" he said, "Rob has told me all about you of course, but I never thought I would meet you" and Harry glanced at Hermione.

"Are all my fans going to be like this?" he asked her.

"Probably" she replied, and then went back to her third drink.

"I guess you knew about what happened last year?" Neville said quietly.

"Rob told me" Joe said, "And we put some of them up in my house. Ironically I had named it 'Ragnarök' – funny if you think about it really" Joe said.

"Ragnarök?" Hermione said aloud to herself, and then she the faces of most of the others. "I have no idea what that means" she told them.

"I do" Harry said quietly.

"What does it mean?" the others asked, and Harry closed his eyes and sighed before opening them them again and answering the question.

"Ragnarök was the final battle of the gods in Norse mythology" he said, "The gods fought the final battle against evil, and according to legend not only did they both die, but the world also was covered in flames. In the end… there where only two survivors" and Hermione nodded.

"I didn't know that" she said, impressed that Harry knew Norse mythology and had used the correct inflections in his voice.

"I guess you have plans for tonight" Joe said, "But you are more then welcome to come and visit. Rob lives with me since his house was destroyed by Voldemort's gang, so he can do that Star Trek thing with you" he added.

"It's a little bit more complicated then that" Harry said, but he told Robert where he could find them in the morning. "Any time after 10 in the morning" and after shaking hands all round, the campers left The Punch and took the bus back to Hessle and hence to the camper van. While the girls put shopping in trunks and storeage spaces – Hermione asking Luna to hid Dean's presents underneath the Ravenclaw's 'toys', Harry went to see how much fuel was left in the tanks. Before he had set off on this trip down to London, Harry had fitted the camper van with a fuel tank from a scrapped diesel locomotive. Combined with the standard fuel tank, this gave an impressive range, but then again it needed refueling, or Harry could simply run on magic for the rest of the trip… it was up to him. The others washed their hands, retrieved pots and pans and got out the ingrediants in order to cook Harry dinner instead of him doing it for them.

"Am I allowed to know what it is?" Harry asked while Hermione coverred his view.

"No" she told him firmly, "Going back to what happened earlier, do you think that they will tell the Aurors?" she asked him.

"Certainly not" Harry said, "I read their minds while we talked to them" and Hermione was shocked but not at all surprised.

"I cant blame you" she said, and went off back to the kitchen while Harry flicked on the TV to watch.

#

Dinner was served a while later and Harry sat down to sample what six Gryffindors and one ravenclaw could cook together. In front of him sat a two and a half feet tall pile of Spagetti Bolognaise. Harry tucked into it and tasted the freshness of it all and he let the cooks know they had done a good job.

"Glad you liked it" Seamus said, sitting down to his own dinner.

"I love it" Harry declared.

# # # # #

She looked at herself in the mirror and then returned to frown at Lavender.

"Now you're sure this will work?" she asked.

"It should do" Lavender said.

"You just calm down, Hermione. Harry will notice you – take it from us" Parvati said.

"And I think I did a good job on the hair" Luna piped in.

"That you did" Parvati said, "That you did" and Luna blushed at the compliment.

"I'll trust to your judgement of course, but I just wondered if a short black skirt will do it. What if he goes for more?" Hermione asked.

"Harry is not like that" Neville said.

"He cares about you deeply" Dean said. "He used to talk about making sure you was always happy at Hogwarts, and thought you would marry some smart and clever guy" and Hermione's head snapped round.

"He cares about me more then himself" she whispered.

"More then life itself" Seamus assured her.

"Well if Harry could face the dark lord, then I can go on a date with him" Hermione said to herself, and headed for the door to her room.

"Forgetting something?" Parvati's vocie made Hermione turn to see the darker skined girl holding up a black top – a match to the skirt.

"Better pu tthat on or he'll think Christmas has come early" Hermione said, and she snapped her fingers and it appeared on her body. One last call of good luck and Hermione left her bedroom and the others closed the door to so that they could hear what was said.

_BLOODY HELL!_

"He likes it then?" Luna asked redundently.

**A/N:**

**So Harry and group arrive at my home city of Hull, and things go a little bit more interesting!**

**Everything that is in this chapter is correct, down to the services Hermione says the EYMS Routemasters run on.**

**The Punch is a real pub and, although not my local, it is a great pub and can be found exactly as in the above chapter. Leila, Jess and the "portly man" – aka Tony – all work their, though I have made them work a decade before they actually started. This was part of a promise to them over a few drinks with the barmaids – Tony being the cook.**

**Robert Sharpe is my real name, and I could resist putting myself in their as well. The muggle friend of mine is joemjackson – a fellow author on this site. I think you'll know the website that Robert mentions concerning Joe…! I believe I lampooned that quite well as fanfics are going strong! The only thing that did not exist at the time of Harry Potter is the coffee shop in the Hull branch of Waterstones. We was on of the last to receive it – not until 2006.**

**Reviews and any other referances you see in the normal manner**

**Regards:**

**Pixel**


	5. The Fourth Night And The Fifth Morning

**The Fourth Night And The Fifth Morning**

**Or**

**The Chapter in which we see Harry James Potter take offensive action in order to defend his friends.**

Harry's jaw dropped open and fell through the floor of the camper van.

_BLOODY HELL_

"You like?" Hermione asked, a light pink blush spreading across her cheeks.

"You look stunning" Harry said, and he looked over Hermione. "I erm… like the skirt" and Harry felt the heat rising to his face.

"Lavender helped me with the clothes, Parvati did my make up and Luna did my hair" Hermione said.

"Remind me to give them a couple of Galleons" Harry muttered to himself. He looked at Hermione again and took in the sight. His longest female was wearing a short – but not too short – black skirt, a black glittery halter neck top and a pair of shiny black low heel shoes. If you asked him at that precise moment, he would have committed suicide as his last joyful image would been of Hermione. Her normally bushy hair was straighter then Harry had ever seen it, and her fringe was cut in a straight line.

"I take it that you like my new look?" Hermione enquired.

"Damn right" Harry said to her, and he did something unexpected – he kissed her on the cheek very quickly.

"Thanks" Hermione said to him, the blush going all the way to her visible cleavage.

"Are the others ready?" Harry said aloud, and the door to Hermione's room opened and out came the others as if on cue. Although Harry had asked Hermione out on a date, they decided to make it a group. It turned out that they all had secret partners and the pairings went like this: Harry/Hermione, Dean and Parvati, Seamus and Lavender and of course Luna and Neville. Though they all knew that they would be going out, what most of the group didn't know, was that Harry had ordered some transport. Outside was a gleaming navy blue bodied, cream canter beam striped Routemaster.

"What the hell…?" breathed Hermione. The Routemaster had its engine ticking over, both top and bottom interior lights blazing brilliantly into the surrounding night, and the headlights beamed. A Driver and Conductor in full uniform stood by the bus waiting for them.

"Are you ready to board your bus?" the driver asked, and the others looked at Harry who simply shrugged.

"I had the money to spare" and he neglected to tell them that he been warned to not use his cards… he would save that for tomorrow.

"All aboard" the conductor said, and they climbed on board and the conductor gave two presses on the bell and off the Routemaster set. It travelled along the roads and soon reached Hull city centre where it headed to the best nightclub that money could get you entry into – Retro. The people waiting to get in looked on in astonishment as the Routemaster pulled up and off jumped the happy campers. They had a good time going to each venue on their private bus, until they ended up at Welly Club – a popular one if Harry had read the pubs and clubs guide correctly.

#

The Ministry was now in a fearful sight. The Aurors had been deposited in the middle of the battered Atrium and Kingsley had gone completely nuts giving orders that Harry was to be arrested on sight, bound, magically suppressed and brought to the Ministry to face trial. The Aurors Corps, those that had stood with Harry on the line at Hogwarts had written a letter saying that they would refuse to carry out the order. This left Kingsley with an effective force of 20 – but that was more then enough. His spy inside Gringotts had finished his mission and had traced the latest transactions to Hull. Kingsley smiled as he gathered all of his loyal Aurors and those people in the Ministry who offered to help bring Harry in. He gathered them in his office and gave detailed instructions.

"Potter must be subdued and returned here for his safety. He is our only weapon against any evil that rise to take Voldemort's place" Kingsley said. "Should his friends resist, then you're allowed to stun them – but leave them where they are Anything short of harming him is authorised"

"Yes Minister" they chorused.

"Then go to work" Kingsley ordered, and the Aurors and Ministry volunteers left the office and headed for the Apperation point. One by one they vanished to a little East Coast city called Hull.

#

Harry watched as the tail lights of the Routemaster vanished into the night, and then turned to go into the camper van. A twig snapping made him freeze in tracks, and he suddenly stopped and listened to the seemingly still night air.

"What's up?" Hermione asked.

"Something's wrong" Harry said in a low voice. Hermione and the others looked around and saw nothing except…

"LOOK OUT, HARRY!" called Lavender, and Harry dove to the ground as a powerful stunning spell passed harmlessly over his head.

"GET IN THE VAN" Harry said, and there was a scramble to obey the order. Harry shot off various spells which did different things. As an after thought he wordlessly transfigured some rocks into moving teddy bears. This gave him enough time to dive into the camper van before he was hit.

"What the hell is going on?" asked Parvati, brushing herself down.

"Kingsley doesn't accept my refusal it seems" Harry said. He picked up his wand and opened a window to cast a large bubble outside which covered the camper van, extending to all of the way to the positions of the attackers.

"Anti-Apperating shield" Hermione beamed, completely sober after drinking a potion which was what the others did as well. This was modified so that not only could they not apperate, but they couldn't leave the area until the shield was down. Suddenly the whole camper shook violently as some powerful force threw them to the ground. Neville was the first to get up, and he attempted to return fire, but there was no result and the boy looked at his wand in surprise.

"My wand is dead" he cried.

"Mine too" Luna said.

"Suppression field" Seamus said.

"Has to be" Dean agreed.

"What do we do?" asked Lavender.

"Fight them" Harry said, getting up and walking over to one of the bench seats at the seating area. He pulled up the folding seat cover to reveal a second, locked, door which was secured with padlocks. Harry took a key out from his pocket and undid the locks and the group gathered closer.

"What are those?" Parvati asked as Harry opened the storage unit to reveal several machine guns in different sizes and shapes.

"Where did you get them from?" Hermione asked, as Harry took them out one by one.

"Griphook got me them when I was fitting this out" he explained.

"Are these operational?" asked Dean.

"Certainly" Harry replied.

"Good" Dean said, and he took one from the pile inside. "This one is mine" he added, and he glanced at the weapon he held in his arms – a fully operative AK-47.

"Harry?" Hermione began, but Harry cut her off.

"I don't care what you say, Hermione, but I am going to defend myself, my friends and this camper van" Harry said firmly.

"I know" Hermione replied, "But I was wondering if you had anything British made" she asked, and Harry glanced down into the box – pulling out a standard British Army SA-80 rifle.

"There you go" Harry said, passing Hermione some spare clips to go with it, and also giving Dean some spare ammo clips as well.

"I'm having this" Seamus said, and the boy picked up an identical model AK-47 and put some clips into his pocket. "Hang on!" he added and ran to his room and came back with a handful of belts. Most of the others looked puzzled at him until Hermione got it almost at once at the same time as Harry.

"Get a belt and put it over one shoulder and under the opposite armpit" and she demonstrated how exactly to do it. The looped belt over and under the arms had the advantage of letting them tuck the spare clips of ammunition so that it could be got at in an instant.

"Good idea, Hermione" Neville said, and Hermione beamed. Harry handed out the remaining weapons: Neville got an M-16 assault rifle, Lavender was issued with a Saiga .223, Parvati was handed a SIG-552 and Luna was given a M4A1. As for Harry himself, he picked up a Browning .303 machine gun, and mounted it on a shelf underneath one of the windows.

"Are we doing the right thing?" asked Lavender while checking out the gun.

"We are only defending ourselves" Harry said, "And we are aiming to wound and not to kill. If they surrender then that is all for the better" and Lavender nodded.

"Good enough for me" she smiled weakly, and then turned to a window which she shared with Parvati and Luna. One by one they opened the windows and put the muzzles of the rifles out the window.

"Well" Luna said dremily, "This isn't how I expected to finish off the night" and despite the situation Neville gave a low level laugh.

"It wasn't my idea of a night cap" he shruged, "But I guess this will do" and he fingered the trigger lightly.

"Don't fire until I say" Harry told them and then shouted out of the open window. "WE ARE GIVING YOU THE CHANCE TO SURRENDER! PUT AWAY YOUR WANDS AND YOU MAY LEAVE HERE UNHARM. IF YOU CHOOSE OTHERWISE, THEN WE WILL B FORCED TO DEFEND OURSLEVES!" he shouted into the night, and as a reply spells rained over the side of the camper van.

"YOU ARE UNDER ARREST, POTTER. WE WILL NOT SURRENDER AND YOU WILL TURN YOURSELF IN! YOU HAVE TO BE LOCKED UP TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE FROM BEING HARMED SHOULD WE NEED YOUR AGAIN" an Auror shouted from cover. At the same time, a series of rapidly fired spells battered the side of the camper van, and several of the windows smashed.

"Right, let them have it" Harry said grimly, and the group returned fire. The amount of bullets fired was so great that the rate of fire demolished some small plants and bushes. Several of the Aurors got hit by the bullets and they flattened themselves against the ground so they wouldn't be hit. Most of them hoped that Harry wouldn't come over and kill them – it being entirely possible that he would.

"What do we do now?" asked Hermione when they had stopped firing. The smell of cordite filled the air, and it got into all their noses.

"Lets go and see how bad we hit them" Harry said, and he picked up a pistol and led the way out of the camper van. The whole side of the camper van was battered to hell and back, with deep scars running along the side, several smouldering sections of body work and four places where the spells had actually managed to breach the side – the interior being clearly visible.

"Do you think we hit anyone?" asked Luna nervously.

"They couldn't repel firepower of that magnitude" Seamus said.

"Of course not, Admiral Ackbar" Dean replied, causing Harry and Hermione to snort with laughter. They reached the tree line and Harry used his wand as a torch – now that he was out of the suppression field he was able to cast magic. He found the Aurors and Ministry volunteers either lying on the ground injured, or cowering behind trees. Harry looked at the one Auror who had not been injured and spoke to her.

"Most of you are injured and or do not have the stomach for anymore fighting" he said, and he raised the pistol to point at the Auror. "I advise you to surrender" Harry added, fingering the safety off.

"Auror Harriet Jones, at your service" the Auror said in a shaky tone, "On behalf of the Aurors and Ministry officials here, we surrender to you" and she handed over her wand backwards.

"I accept your surrender" Harry said, fingering the safety back on again and pocketing the wand. "Let us see to your wounded" he added, and he and the others moved around and patched those people up.

"What will you do with us?" asked Auror Jones.

"I'm going to patch up those of you that have been injured then return you to the Ministry. I want it to be said that we took care of you and saved the lives of you lot after your surrendered" Harry said bending down to help a placed faced official.

"Thank you" Jones said, "I have to admit that I had some doubts about this, but the Minister said you was under some kind of curse. We had to bring you in for the greater good" and Harry shook his head silently.

"If we did everything for the greater good, then we would all be dead" he told her, and he and the others finished up healing the injured. It wasn't top quality work, but it would work until they could get proper medical help at St Mungos.

"How do you want us to leave?" asked Jones as she watched Harry drop the shield surrounding the area.

"You'll apperate to the Ministry one by one, or in pairs for those who are too injured or simply can not. I will follow you with the wands and then apperate straight back again" Harry told her. "You will tell Kingsley everything that has happened here, and how we took care of the wounded" and Jones nodded. "Give this to the first member of the _Daily Prophet_ that you see – but not Rita Skeeta" and he handed Jones several pieces of paper.

"I'll make sure it gets out for this morning" Jones said.

"Thank you" Harry said, and he and the others watched as they apperated away – some assisted by others. Harry waited three seconds before apperating away only to return almost instantly back to the side of his new girlfriend.

"Anyone see you?" asked Hermione, her voice full of concern.

"No" Harry said, "I was straight there and then out again" and he went over to the camper van. "What have they done to you girl?" he asked, patting a damaged piece of bodywork.

"Can we fix her?" Neville asked.

"Should be able to" Harry said, pulling out his wand and casting _Repairo_ over and over again. The body work was put back together and all of the deep scaring was cleared up and the camper van was put back to normal once again.

"That's better, Harry" Parvati said.

"Thanks" he said, "Now lets get in the van and get out of here" and they all clambered in and Dean jumped into the driver's seat and started the engine.

"Where are we going?" Dean asked, as he got to a roundabout.

"Head south" Harry said, moving around the back.

"Anywhere particular?" Dean called back.

"Go over the Humber Bridge and head towards Grimsby" Harry said.

"Grimsby it is" Dean replied, and then concentrated on the driving.

"Let us hope that we have better chances of relaxing" Hermione said, flopping into one of the seats in the seating area.

"Damned right" Harry said bitterly. He went around the side of the camper and picked up all of the guns that they had used, and put them in the storage area and closed and locked the box with the padlocks, putting the keys in a galley drawer for safe keeping.

"Do you have a licence for those?" Hermione asked, knowing that Muggle law said he had to have one.

"Yes" Harry said, and he produced one to her.

"You know this is faked" Hermione told him.

"I know" Harry replied.

"Just saying" and Hermione got up. "I'm going to bed" she declared and after giving Harry a kiss on the cheek, the girl went to bed.

"I'm off as well" Luna said, and she headed to her bedroom and closed the door.

"I better call it a night too" Neville said.

"Night" Harry said, and Neville was just going past Luna's room when an arm came out and dragged Neville inside. Lavender and Parvati went next saying that they needed beauty sleep, and Seamus got up to make some coffee for Harry and Dean before retiring.

"You worried?" he asked Harry as both of them waited for the kettle to boil.

"Partly" Harry admitted, "But we did give them a warning to surrender, and we also treated their injuries afterwards. I am looking forward to getting a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ later on" and Seamus grinned.

"I wonder why?" he asked sarcastically, and at that moment the kettle boiled and he poured the hot water into two flasks – one of which went to Dean and other to Harry. "Regarding our plans for today" Seamus went on, "I was thinking that we find a quiet area in a wood and we just spend the day and night there. Have another barbeque as well in the evening" and Harry gave that some thought.

"Sounds good" he said after a while.

"Well I thought you'd like it" the Irish boy said, then stretched and got up from his seat. "I'm off" he added, and he went to his room and some well deserved rest. Harry went forwards with the flasks and sat in the seat next to Dean.

"When we get to Grimsby, pull over and we'll have a drink of coffee. Then we'll go south to some quiet forest and lay up for the day for tonight as well" Harry said to him.

"I'm fine to drive after that" Dean said, "As long as I get a good few cups, then I'm fine for driving" and Harry shrugged.

"It is entirely up to you" he said, and they did indeed pull over silently for a drink of coffee. While they sat parked outside Grimsby bus depot, Harry looked at the fuel gauge. It showed that they where nearly out of fuel, and so Harry took his wand and tapped the bonnet several times.

"What you do that for?" Dean asked, as he felt the cold air enter the camper van.

"We now have the same ability as the _Red October_" Harry replied, and Dean knew exactly what he meant.

"Za Ordar izt" he replied, putting on a passable Russian accent that sounded Scottish at the same time, "Engage za zilent dryve" and Dean pulled away from the bus depot and headed south east and towards Sherwood Forest.

**A/N:**

**First of all, the location the group visit is a real nightclub. The Routemaster is painted in the same colours as East Yorkshire had their fleet in during the 80's/90's. As for the guns mentioned, they are all real guns used all over the world – the SA80 being used by the British Army.**

**With regards to Harry shooting at the Aurors and Ministry officals, he did give them a chance to surrender before opening up, and he also said to wound and not kill them. When he went to have a closer look at them, he and the others treated the injuries and sent them back to the Ministry to be properly dealt with – and not to take them prisoner like some would expect.**

**The next chapter will be one of fun, laughter, drink and love. Some of you have also been asking about how I'm going to end this fic, and I will give you a clue. When Dean went to get Harry that part, it was something musical.**

**Guesses by Owl post please…**

**Regards,**

**Pixel**


	6. The Fifth Day

**The Fifth Day**

To avoid any other Aurors, Harry had Dean drive as close to south as possible for and hour, and then turn west for another hour before heading directly for Sherwood Forest. Shortly after the second turning, Harry relieved Dean at the wheel and sent the other boy off to his bed. Once alone, he turned on the radio and spun the dial down to a low volume so it wouldn't disturb the others sleeping. The station he settled on was some all night talk show, and Harry listened to the people that called the show. When he selected it, he caught the back end of the last caller.

"… _and when I woke up, I found out I'd done it_" said the caller.

"_Done what?_" asked the presenter.

"_Slept with my mother and a pig_" the caller said, and Harry shook his head in silent laughter.

"_Thank you… Next caller please…_" Harry decided to leave the radio off, and play one of the cassette tapes the camper van stocked. Soon the strains of _Queen_ filled the cockpit area of the camper, and Harry continued on his way to Sherwood Forest whilst drinking coffee from the travel mug. Not being in such a hurry, Harry cruised along at 60 miles per hour. What Harry was thinking of was that as the camper van was running on magic, what was the camper's new top speed? A fifteen seconds flat out on the peddle got the camper up to 146.3 miles per hour - faster then some trains. Sherwood Forest was reached a little way past half four, and Harry found a quiet spot in the middle and placed some charms around the site to keep people away from them. Once back inside, he kicked off his shoes and lay down on the little sofa that went around the galley/dining table. His mind replayed the last few hours again and Harry hoped that the Auror had delivered the letter to the _Prophet_ as he had requested. He remained like that for some time until the sun had risen and Hermione was the first of the sleepers to leave their rooms. She saw Harry on the sofa and the Gryffindor went over to shake him awake. With a faster reaction time then a speeding bullet, Harry sprang up, blasted Hermione clear to the over side of the camper and bound her in thick and heavy ropes. Harry's eyes went wide when he saw what he had done, and the boy dashed over to free her and help her to her feet.

"I am so sorry, Hermione" he apologised, "I didn't know it was you" and Hermione smiled weakly at him.

"It's my fault, Harry" she replied, "I should have known better then to do that after what happened recently" and Hermione looked on the verge of tears.

"Tell you what" Harry said, thinking quickly as to cheer her up, "You snog me senseless for the next five minutes and we'll call it quits" and Hermione actually giggled.

"My room or yours?" she asked.

"What about the sofa?" Harry winked at her, and to her eternal credit Hermione understood his meaning.

"Sofa it is" and that is where the others found them – flat on the sofa, snogging away like nobody's business.

#

To avoid being detected, Harry apperated directly into Grimmauld Place, and from there changed his appearance so he could leave and walk down Diagon Alley. He walked down the little street and went into offices of the _Daily Prophet_ and asked to purchase a paper – giving the story that he had not received his morning Owl.

"What is your name?" asked the receptionist, "So we can track down the problem" and Harry smiled before giving his name.

"My name is Ash Ketchum, from Pallet Town" and Harry turned and left the office. He would greatly have loved to see the trouble _that_ address caused the Post Office when letters returned un-answered.

#

"You got the paper then alright?" Dean asked, as Harry appeared inside the camper van again.

"Gave a fake name" Harry told him, and he sat at the table.

"Did they print it?" Hermione asked eagerly, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

"Front pages, as requested" her boyfriend confirmed and he started to read the letter.

**A Letter From Harry Potter**

_I am writing this letter to all of you in order to let you know about the actions of the Ministry of Magic. By now you will no doubt have heard that I am on a trip with my fellow Gryffindors along with a member of Ravenclaw house. The Ministry have tried ever since to place me under protective custody so that I will be able to defeat any other evil forces that might threaten our safety._

_I am not going to allow that to happen!_

_I have spent all my life since I started Hogwarts listening o people telling me what to do, and I refuse to do so anymore. First of all it was Albus Dumbledore, the man who was supposedly a great man. I have seen evidence that he murdered his own sister and then tried to blame his younger brother for it. At one time, he shared the same beliefs as Grindlewald and of Voldemort – can this be the same person we all respected? Now a former pupil of his will try to finish what he started and place me under restrictive measures._

_Several days ago, Minister Shaklebolt sent an Auror to take me back to the Ministry where I would be locked away and allowed no contact with my friends or any one from the outside world. I defended myself and my friends and had the Auror returned to London. Earlier today, the Minister sent out a large group to stun me, put my friends under arrest, and take us to Azkaban to await the Minister's pleasure. These Aurors, and a few volunteers from the various departments, attacked without warning and then disabled the ability to use our wands. I was able to put a shield that prevented them from leaving. As they fired spells at us, my friends and I retreated to inside our vehicle. After arming ourselves with Muggle weapons, I gave them a chance to surrender, which they refused. After attacking us with another round of spells, we returned fire. After the spells had stopped, we ceased fire and went to them in order to patch them up. I first obtained the surrender of the group from the Auror in charge, and then attended to the wounded. After making sure the group was in no harm, I had them return to the Ministry along with this letter._

_I am not, repeat NOT, going to allow my friends and myself to be attacked, and we will defend ourselves if our trip is interrupted once again. We will return to the magical community soon, where I will take what is mine._

_Signed_

_The-Boy-Who-Lived-Died-Lived-Again-And-Who-Has-More-Titles-Then-Can-Be-Written-Here-And-Still-Make-Grammetically-Correct-Sentances_

_Harry Potter_

"Strong stuff" Luna said, "I assume that I get first rights on interviews?" she asked, referring to _The Quibbler_.

"Sure" Harry assured her, "But I did promise the _Prophet_ a short statement. But anything after that you can have" and Luna smiled and leaned into Neville.

"So what do we have planned for today?" Seamus asked, digging into breakfast.

"I was thinking that we simply take time off and relax" Harry replied, "But if there is something you want to do, then I am not stopping you" and the others smiled.

"We'll stick with you" Lavender said, "You stuck with us during the final fight, even if you did have to run for months" and Harry felt warmth pass through him.

"Well later on, I'll set up the Barbie" Neville said, and Harry nodded at him.

"I think we have plenty of beers" Seamus said, rubbing his hands together at the thought of more drinking – a true Irishman to the hilt was Seamus!

"I plan to watch some sports" Dean said.

"I think I might read some of those books I got in Hull" Hermione said.

"That's good" Harry sighed, getting up from the breakfast table, "I plan on getting at least 8 hours decent sleep" and the others laughed.

"I'm tired as well" Luna said, and Harry could detect the twinkle in her eyes as she spoke.

"You want me to wake you when we get the Barbie going?" Neville asked her.

"I was rather hoping you wanted to come to my room" the girl replied.

"I thought you said you was tired?" Neville was confused.

"My dear Neville" Luna said, and everyone could guess her next words, "I didn't say I was _that_ tired" and she stood up, went over to her boyfriend and dragged him to his feet and to her room. Harry snapped his fingers and placed a silencing charm around the frame.

"On second thoughts, I could check over the camper" and he led Dean and Seamus outside and started working on changing all four of the campers tires, checking the oil levels and doing a good old fashioned service on it.

"I think it is better that we do it without magic" Dean said. He had one of his arms inside the right rear wheel well.

"It feels as if we are putting something into this" Seamus said.

"True" Harry said, "Put I think I'll make an exception to the no magic rule" and Harry used his wand to float the camper up off the ground so that they could change the tires at the same time. After doing a large amount of mileage, the camper van was almost out of fuel – the reason Harry had brought it here under magic.

"I could go and get some petrol" Seamus offered, and Harry handed him some money and some containers to put the fuel in. Using another quick use of magic, Harry doubled the number and so allowing them to get as much as possible. Dean and Seamus set off out of the forest, and towards a BP that Harry had passed on the way in to the forest. Harry briefly wondered about what the station owners would say when an Irishman requested some petrol in England.

#

"I can not believe she called the police" Seamus fumed as the pair walked back to the camper.

"Asking the way to London whilst at a petrol station isn't exactly a smart thing" Dean replied.

"I AM NOT A MEMBER OF THE IRA!" Seamus shouted.

"Alright" Dean said, "Lets just say nothing to the others when we get back, and I'll give you the cans of Guinness" he added.

"We didn't get any" said the confused and irate Irishman.

"I grabbed a four pack when the cops weren't looking and shrunk them" Dean told him, and Seamus started to cheer up quite a bit.

#

"So my thing goes in that tiny hole?" Neville asked. He was beginning to believe that Luna was having him on.

"Of course" Luna said, "I've done it a number of times" and the boy shook his head.

"If this doesn't work, then I am going to use magic to set the Barbie up" Neville sighed as he started again.

#

Harry was sat in the camper and thought about the recent events. Hermione saw his worry and concern and decided to do something about it.

"Would you like a massage?" she asked him.

"Why not?" Harry said. He had never had one before, though Hermione had rubbed his left shoulder when he had banged it in Quidditch practice a 1000 years ago.

"Well take your t-shirt off and turn over" Hermione said. Harry agreed, asking only that they went into his room to do it. He still had a few scars from his time at the Dursleys, although they had almost healed by now. Hermione came in with some muscle relaxing cream, and Harry took off his t-shirt and lay face down on his bed – head resting on the pillows. Hermione put some cream on Harry's back and started to rub it in. Harry could feel Hermione smooth hands as they worked the cream into his skin and he started to feel its effects. Once the cream was gone, Hermione used her hands to do the massage proper and Harry let out a low moan.

"When you've finished, would you mind waiting for me outside?" he asked. Hermione stopped chopping Harry's back for a moment.

"What for?" she asked him in surprise.

"I'm having a reaction" he told her.

"WHAT?" Hermione looked all over Harry's back for signs of an allergic reaction, but she couldn't see one. "What kind of a reaction?" she asked, concerning edging into her voice.

"A 'not so little Harry' reaction" he said, going bright red in the face.

"Ah" Hermione said, and she gave a little giggle.

"That is not helping, Hermione" Harry growled.

"I could always help you get rid of that reaction" Hermione offered sweetly, as she finished off the massage for him.

"Get out while you still can" Harry said, and Hermione fled the room with a wide smile across her face.

"See you later" she called back as she closed the door. Harry groaned at his best female friends actions.

"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day" he chanted, and slowly the 'reaction' vanished. Harry put his t-shirt back on, and left the room to see Neville sticking his head in through the door and looked slightly upwards at Harry.

"I got it set up" he told him.

"Well get it lit, and I'll get the burgers and sausages" Harry replied, and Neville nodded before vanishing once again. "So this is what its like to be with friends?" Harry said. "I'm enjoying this" he added.

"First of all, I would like to apologise for making fun of you" Hermione said to Harry.

"Forget it" Harry told her.

"Forget it?" Hermione gasped, "It nearly poked my bloody eye out!" and Harry fixed her with the same stare he had used on Voldemort. "The other thing I wanted to say" the girl rapidly rushed on, "Is that you deserve all the happiness that you can possibly get" and Hermione stood on her toes slightly and kissed Harry on the lips before going to her room.

"I need a beer" Harry said, smiling at Hermione's retreating back. He went over to the fridge and retrieved the food and the beer before taking them outside. He couldn't wait to get the food and drink going, as everyone had a really enjoyable experience. They might have had enough to get themselves drunk, but when you go up against tyrannical dictators you are allowed to drink to excess. Harry privately wondered how many drinks it would take for Hermione to get up and start singing obscene songs again.

**A/N:**

**Another chapter for you, and I hope you liked reading it!**

**The **_**Prophet**_** has printed the letter from Harry as he asked, and the next chapter will say why they HAD to do so. There is a reference to a famous film somewhere in this chapter, as well as to my mega fic 'Harry Potter True Friends'. See if you can spot them both!**

**If you liked the chapter then review, if you hated the chapter then review. !weiver ruoy ni tib siht tog uoy etoN !uoy rof doog neht ,rorrim a ni siht dear uoy fI**

**(Kudos to those that figured out what I was saying there!)**

**Regards**

**Pixel**


	7. The Fifth Night

**The Fifth Night**

Hermione Jane Granger was the top student of her year. Hermione Jane Granger was smart, intelligent and full of knowledge. Hermione Jane Granger completely, totally out and out pissed out of her skull, and confirmed to be rat arsed. Though he had helped to make her friendly after the whole Troll incident in their first year, he had never imagined how loose Hermione could be. She was now so loose, that she was completely flexible! Harry smiled and knocked back his fifth can of Carling, and then watched as Hermione did a repeat performance of her '_Man From Nantucket_' song from the first night.

"We need more drink" said Parvati giggling quite merrily.

"Wooooooooo" said Hermione. Harry got up and went into the camper to retrieve the forth crate of mixed beers.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Harry asked. He watched as Hermione stopped dancing, and turned to look him directly in the eye.

"No" she said flatly. Harry decided to try again and put the crate on the ground where everyone could reach in.

"How many fingers do I have up?" he asked her. Harry raised both his hands with the fingers pointing up. Hermione bent her head slightly and squinted at the figure of Harry in the darkness. They had spent so much time in Sherwood Forest that it was now well into the night.

"45" was her reply.

"Close enough" Harry shrugged, and he passed her a four pack. Harry had only just sat down when Hermione dashed into the camper van and into her room.

"Now she gets sick" Dean smirked.

"I don't think so…" called the remaining girls in unison.

"Really?" enquired Harry.

"Really" they shouted as one.

"Reckon I should go and check on Herms?" Harry asked Neville.

"Mmpff" Neville said, and his mouth was suddenly filled with Luna's tongue. After they pulled away, Harry noticed everyone had stopped speaking – the only sound being the crackling of the fire.

"There isn't any need to look for me" said a sultry and downright sexy voice. Harry spun round to see Hermione standing in the doorway to the camper. She was wearing a black leather skirt that only just covered her bottom, high topped leather boots – finishing just under the backs of her knees, a black top with Hermione's cleavage on full display and her hair all down.

"Shit" Harry swore softly. As she stood in the doorway, Harry was sure that he heard a mission bell. Then the unmistakable sounds of the tune '_The Stripper_' floated out of the camper as Hermione came outside and sauntered over to Harry.

"Hello, Harry," she said, "How you doing?" she asked.

"This can not be happening" Harry said to himself.

"Oh it is happening", Hermione said, and she grinned to him before the music changed once more. Right from the outset, Hermione began to sing as she stripped off her clothes whilst Harry watched.

_I don't want you to be no slave;  
I don't want you to __work__ all day;  
But I want you to be true,  
And I just wanna make __love__ to you.  
…Love to you…  
…__Love__ to you…Ooooohhooh…  
…Love to you…  
_

Off came the boots.

_  
All I want to do is wash your _clothes_;  
I don't want to keep you indoors.  
There is nothing for you to do  
But keep me makin' love to you.  
…Love to you…  
…Love to you…Ooooohhooh…  
…Love to you…_

Off came the skirt. By now, the others had formed a impromptu chorus line, and not only accompanied Hermione's singing strip but also encouraged her with lots of shouting and cheering.

_  
And I can tell by the way you walk that walk;  
I can hear by the way you talk that talk;  
I can know by the way you treat your girl  
That I can give you all the lovin' in the whole wide world!  
All I want you to do is make your _bread_!  
Just to make sure you're well-fed!  
I don't want you sad and blue!  
And I just wanna make love to you.  
…Love to you…  
…Love to you…Ooooohhooh…  
…Love to you…Ooooh._

Off came the top. Harry could see that Hermione was not wearing a bra. She was now clad in only her thin little black thong. On the front of the thong was a little message that read

_Property of Harry James Potter_

Harry by this time had possibly the world largest erection from watching Hermione's sexy little dance__

And I can tell by the way you walk that walk;  
And I can hear by the way you talk that talk;  
And I can know by the way you treat your girl  
That I could give you all the lovin' in the whole wide world!  
Oh, all I wanna do - All I wanna do is cook_ your bread!  
Just to make sure that you're well-fed!  
I don't want you sad and blue,  
And I just wanna make love to you_

Hermione finished the song by doing a lap dance on Harry, and he felt her crotch rub against the tent pole that had appeared in his jeans. It didn't help by the fact that the others simply stood, watched and encouraged her. He opened his mouth to protest when Hermione planted her lips on his, and she kissed him deeply. Harry could taste the lipstick along with the alcohol that Hermione had consumed. Cheers, jeers and whistles issued from the others as Hermione pulled back after several long seconds.

"Wow" was all that Harry could manage. Hermione looked down at him and smiled.

"I've wanted to do that for a very very long time" the Gryffindor said, "I've had a crush on you for a long time, and now I got my wish to kiss you… and a little more" she blushed prettily.

"I always thought that you were too good for me" Harry admitted, "I mean you are all about books and cleverness…" but Hermione sat in his lap and pressed her breast against Harry's chest.

"I told you before that there are more important things then books and cleverness" she reminded him of something she had said in their first year. "Even though you might marry someone else, I wanted to tell you how I felt and kiss you" and Harry could see the others sitting down to watch them. Only in his dreams had he ever dared to imagine that Hermione liked him more then just as a friend. He had never truly expected to have survived the final battle with Voldemort. His mind briefly went back to the night…

_Voldemort stood in the middle of the chaos, and surveyed Harry with a long, hard and cold look. Rubble from the great hall littered everywhere and bodies lay where they had fallen – there was no time to do anything else but leave them. The only people left alive where those either alive with stunners or injuries. Those able to do so, helped the others to get out the hall. Harry fingered his wand which he held by his side._

"_Give this up, and I promise that you will receive a fair trial" he said. Voldemort's cruel laugh sounded throughout the devastated hall._

"_Brave words, Harry, but I don't think that they will mean much after I kill you. Then I will kill your friends one by one. I'll show them a recording of how you screamed for mercy before I killed you in the end" and he laughed again._

"_Surrender, Tom. I will not give you a second chance" Harry said. he tried to keep calm as he contemplated the thought of having to use the killing curse on Voldemort. Even though he was a monster and had to be stopped, he still was human and the use of the killing curse was a lifetime sentence in Azkaban._

"_You won't surrender? A pity. I could have used a fine mind like yours" Voldemort said, and he raised his wand at the same time as Harry did. "None of your friends are around to see your death" Voldemort added._

"_Don't count on it" said a voice, and Harry and Voldemort both turned to see Hermione getting up from under the rubble. Blood poured from the cuts she had all over her body, her left arm was quite clearly broken and her clothes where torn in many different places._

"_You'll have to kill me to get to Harry" Hermione said, and she stood next to Harry._

"_That goes for me too" came Neville's shaky voice, and he had got more injuries then Hermione had. From just the appearance, it was amazing that he was still standing or even alive._

"_Ah… the Longbottom boy" Voldemort said._

"_You had my parents tortured and then murdered. I could run from here and hide, but I stand with Harry" Neville said, and he stood on Harry's other side._

"_I kill three of you. It makes no difference. I would kill you all anyway" Voldemort said to the trio._

"_We stand with Harry too" said two female voices, and Harry quickly looked back to see that Parvati and Lavender clamber over the debris and bodies._

"_We might not know Harry as well as Hermione, but he has almost always been friendly to us" Parvati said._

"_I refuse to run away anymore" Lavender said defiantly. "I don't care if I die, I am going to face my fears" and the two girls stood either side of the little line that was now formed._

"_I could not agree more strongly then that" dean said, and he limped over the devastation to the group of students. He had suffered the most injuries as he had placed himself in the line of danger in order to save many of the younger students. His clothes hung in rags, more cuts then Harry cared to count caused him to bleed all over the rubble, his nose and right arm was broken and he seemed to have sprained his ankle. He nearly topped over as he picked his way over, and Harry could not have felt more pride in Dean then at that moment. His sentence was slurred and several times he had nearly fallen over. Severely damaged and almost out of control, he had chosen to make his last stand with the others. Hermione and Luna took hold of him and wedged him inside the line between them and Luna held up his one working arm with the wand in so that he could face Voldemort._

"_I'll grant you that you and your friends are quite brave in facing me, it would be a shame to kill you all" Voldemort said, "But it seems that you have no one else to come to your aid and now you must die" he cackled._

"_I wouldn't bet on it" said one last familiar voice._

"_Come to join the futile gesture?" asked Voldemort mockingly._

"_What kind of Irishman would shy away from a hopeless cause?" asked Seamus. "We leaned that with the British" he shrugged, "You killed too many people, and caused so much devastation. You must be stopped – even at the cost of all our lives" he added._

"_We knew this when we made the decision to stand with Harry" Dean said, forcing his speech to be clear._

"_If those are going to be your last words, then so be it" and Voldemort brought his wand to bear._

"_Think of the stunning spell and also of me" Harry said just as Voldemort cast the killing curse._

"_ADAVRA KADAVRA" he cried with his cold, hard and cruel sounding voice._

"_STUPIDFY" said seven of them, and red beams of magical energy came from their wands and went to Harry. Instead of knocking Harry out, they entered him and he glowed._

"_STUPIDFY" Harry bellowed at the top of his voice, and the stunner was the largest and most powerful that anyone had ever seen before. It broke Voldemort's fatal killing curse like it was nothing more then wet tissue paper and hit Voldemort with all the force that it left Harry's wand at. It picked him and threw him towards the thick stone wall. He slammed into it and slumped to the wall._

"_Is he dead…?" asked Luna timidly._

"_No such luck Harry said, and it was true. Voldemort was still alive – but only just. His body was broken from the impact, but he dragged himself to a sitting position._

"_Was that all you could do?" he spat out at them._

"_That answer you?" asked Hermione despite the situation. Harry looked at Voldemort's figure, and pocketed his wand._

"_This is the one thing that I have to do myself. This is for me and me alone" he said quietly. "Get to Pomfrey at once" Harry added, and they watched him as he went towards Voldemort. As he got near him, Harry spotted something bright against the dust and blood of the almost ruined hall. He stopped to stoop down and pick it up. It was a small necklace with the symbol of an ancient animal on it._

"_Stopping to look at your guilt?" asked Voldemort who had got to his feet. The remains of what used to be Tom Riddle sneered at Harry. Harry ignored him as he looked at the necklace closely._

"_Sabre Toothed Tiger" he said, and a slight yellow glow went around him from the sun rising from the horizon. He put the necklace into his pocket and went closer to Voldemort and raised his wand once again – taking it out of his pocket._

"_One on one?" enquired Voldemort coldly, "Not really your style, Potter" he laughed._

"_Accio" Harry said, and Voldemort simply dismissed the spell from hitting him._

"_That was a poor aim at me" was all the other said._

"_It's not you I'm aiming at" Harry said, and he cast again. "ACCIO" and Voldemort sidestepped out its path and the sword that Godric Gryffindor used rose from the place it had been buried under and flew through the air to Harry's outstretched arms._

"_It can't be…" Voldemort breathed._

"_Bad mistake" Harry snarled, and with all the force he could muster, Harry swung the sword and it made Voldemort eligible for the headless hunt. His head sailed through the air until Harry destroyed it with a blasting hex. Voldemort's headless body stood for a moment before drooping to its knees, and then falling forwards to the ground where it twitched for several moments before going still for all time._

"_He's gone" Neville whispered. The remaining people in the hall looked at Harry and there was silence before an almighty cheer went up which was echoed through out the castle when the news got passed on. As for Harry, he thrust the sword high into the air._

"_FOR FREEDOM!" he yelled, and everyone else yelled it. The greatest evil of the world had been defeated, and Harry had completed his destiny. The war was over, his scar didn't hurt and all was well._

Hermione's lips brought him back round to the present, and he took hold of both sides of her head and kissed her right back – much to the stunned silence of the other six. Harry suddenly felt like a normal teenager, and he stood and picked up a slow to react Hermione.

"My room!" he growled, and he took Hermione into the camper van and closed the door with non verbal magic.

#

"You think they're going to have sex?" asked Luna quizzically.

"With the way Hermione did that dance, I'm surprised that Harry didn't start the whole bloody thing there and then in front of us" Dean said.

"They've started" Parvati said, and indeed the camper van had started to rock ever so slightly, and loan groans and screams came out from the inside. Dean – the most sober of the remaining six, cast a silencing charm and then turned back to the others.

"More beer?" he asked, and they all replied with an affirmative. As he looked at the silently rocking camper, Neville looked next to him at Luna.

"If you want to, then it's up to you" the Gryffindor told her.

"I think we'll wait till the camper van has stopped moving" Luna said, and Neville leaned in for what Americans called 2nd base. "Besides" she added, "I have a number of toys that we can use"

"Good" said Neville simply.

#

The door swung shut and Harry carried the almost nude Hermione to his room and sealed that door behind him. He put his girlfriend onto the floor who started work on removing Harry's clothes. Harry's erection was now rock solid as Hermione removed his jeans at the end to reveal his hardened member restrained only by the boxer shorts he wore.

"Is that a broom stick you have down there, or are you just please to see me?" Hermione asked giggling as she spoke.

"I'm all yours" Harry said as a reply, and Hermione beamed before removing Harry boxers and his member smacked against his stomach as it was released from its prison. A slight coating of pre-cum glistened on Harry's tip and Hermione put a finger over it before she dipped it into her mouth. It was her first taste of Harry apart from his lips, and she enjoyed the experience.

"Fair's fair" Harry said, and he removed Hermione's personalised thong with the snap of his fingers. Both of them looked at the others naked bodies, and Harry could smell Hermione's arousal. Harry slowly pushed Hermione to his bed, and they explored the others body with roaming hands going everywhere. Harry soon learned that Hermione liked her nipples being tweaked a bit harder then one might possibly have expected, and Hermione discovered that Harry loved her when she swirled her tongue down his shaft as she bobbed up and down on him. After what seemed like a lifetime, Harry was on top of Hermione, and he looked down into her twinkling eyes.

"I want this" she said, answering his unasked question. "I want to feel you inside of me, and I want to feel your seed fill me up" the brainy Gryffindor added in a whisper.

"As long as you are sure" Harry said, and Hermione nodded.

"There is one thing" she told him, "This is my first time, and it is going to hurt when you break my hymen" and Harry nodded.

"I could get a pain relief potion if you want" he offered, but Hermione laughed softly and shook her head.

"Most people do it slowly so it hurts less, but I want you to push yourself in slowly. This is the only time I am going to experience a first time, and I want to feel EVERY little sensation. I want to commit to memory the pain when you break my hymen" and Harry was surprised but nodded to her request. He pulled out until the tip of his hardened shaft was resting lightly on the brown curls surrounding Hermione's warm and moist inner core.

"Are you ready?" Harry asked, wanting to make sure that Hermione meant to go through with this last sacrifice.

"I've been ready since my first year" Hermione said, and she reached up, put her arms around Harry's neck and pulled him into a slow and smouldering kiss. As they kissed and fought pitched battles with their tongues, Harry moved his middle downwards slowly, and he entered Harry once again and he found her barrier. Harry had one last look at Hermione, and she nodded silently. Harry pushed through slowly and Hermione gasped as she experienced the pain she had desperately wanted from her first time. Although he heard her gasp, Harry kept pushing in until he could go no further, and he then pulled out slowly again before reversing course to dive down inside Hermione again. He slowly built up speed with an eager Hermione bucking her hips upwards to match him, and they built up to a resounding crescendo, and they came at the same time with a scream, explosion and exchange of juices and a scream so loud, it broke the silencing charm set up by Dean. Harry saved one last release until the end, and he pulled all the way fully out of Hermione.

"What's wrong ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Hermione said, as Harry with a great deal of speed and force slammed his length into her and rammed into her pelvis. The last release was so great that the only part of Hermione that was active wondered why she didn't feel it coming out of her mouth. Harry was now completely spent and he pulled out and lay on his back on the bed and pulled Hermione on top of him and hugged her close to him and felt her hardened nipples and breasts press into him.

"Thank you" he said to her tenderly, kissing her on the lips sweetly.

"Thank _ you_ for being my first" Hermione replied, "Some of my wildest dreams have come true, and it was nothing like I imagined… it was better then my dreams" and she pulled him into the nine hundredth round of tongue warfare. After that, Harry and Hermione made love more slowly and more tenderly before both getting up and cleaning themselves with cleaning charms, putting on clothes, setting Harry's room to rights before going back outside to the others. The other six didn't know what to say until Harry summoned the last crate of beer towards them.

"Carling anyone?" he asked as he pulled out a four pack.

**A/N:**

**And there you go… the chapter you have all been waiting for!**

**I hope that I did the sex scene with my normal and complete lack of morals as per normal (readers of Harry Potter True Friends will know what I mean by that!). Just wanted to let you know that this chapter passed the "Left hand test"… if you know what I mean, shame on you for thinking such things.**

**There are a few references to TV shows and Movies in here, and I made them much trickier for you to spot. Person who finds the most will get a cameo in the next chapter as a reward.**

**I updated the fic called "Pixel and Stephanie Forever" – which is why I have my penname the way it is. I would love it if you could review that one as well please.**

**So let me know if you liked this chapter, and tell me what you might suggest for the next chapter – but don't suggest more sex from anyone, I have that saved for later.**

**Reviews and Pm's by e-mail, messenger Patronus, Owl post or by plain old fashioned smoke signals.**

**Regards:**

**Pixel**


	8. The Sixth Day And Night

**The Sixth Day And Night**

Morning found Harry asleep in his bed with the dawn breaking over the forest, and he slowly rose from his bed, and went over to his room's bathroom. For all the drinking that had happened the previous night, he didn't look too bad. Harry had discovered that he could hold his drink pretty well, and so he took a shower and then dressed for the day. Making his way into the galley, Harry started to make breakfast and the first thing was to brew some tea for the others to drink. Then it was on to the platters of bacon, fried bread, tomatoes, mushrooms, ham and hash browns. As the smell wafted around the camper van, the others slowly drifted into the dining area and started to eat breakfast. Harry hung around until Hermione came from her room, and he gently took her arm and led her to the front of the van.

"We need to talk" he told her.

"I was expecting this" Hermione said, "I just want to say that it was my fault for… well you know… what I mean is…" Hermione hesitated, "It was my fault for seducing you and taking advantage. What I did was almost as bad as rape. Not how I wanted to get in the history books, but there you go anyway" and she looked down at her feet. Harry simply put out a hand and brought her face back up so he could look into her eyes.

"I told you before that I had feelings for you, and last night proved how much I cared for you. I wanted last night to happen as much as you did" Harry told her, "And I found how much you loved me" and Hermione cheered up as she understood Harry didn't hate her for what she had done the previous night.

"Thanks" she mumbled quietly, and she and Harry went back to the dining area.

"I don't blame you" Harry said once more, "And I never knew you had a cute little mole next to your…" Harry was cut off as Hermione kissed him in order to stop Harry revealing where her mole was. The others just sniggered or giggled as they watched an embarrassed Hermione pull away from Harry.

"I think I'll have breakfast now" she said, and hurried to fill her plate to the top, and then after a moments pause she filled Harry's plate as well.

"So what is the plan today?" asked Parvati.

"We wait here for a while, and then we down to the south coast where there is an air show on. I thought it might be nice to go and see. Though I guess you can all do what you want" Harry said, and he took a swig from his tea.

"I've always been fascinated by muggle planes" Neville admitted, "So I'm cool for that" and the others agreed. Harry might have been even more pleased if he could have seen what was going on in the Ministry at that moment.

#

"HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?" demanded a furious McGonagall. "HOW COULD YOU TRY TO HARM HARRY POTTER?" she thundered.

"It is all in the greater good" Kingsley said, terrified of the woman in front of him.

"It was for the greater good that Harry Potter saved us all" McGonagall fumed, "Or have you forgotten that Minister?" she asked.

"I have not forgotten that, and nor will I ever do so" Kingsley replied, "But I have to take steps to ensure our survival" and McGonagall got up with a hiss of disgust and went for the door. Opening the door, she turned in the doorway and delivered one last item to Kingsley.

"Hogwarts is out of bounds for your Aurors. If they come into the grounds or use any of the Floo connections, then I will authorise my students to attack and disarm them" she said.

"And what if we come in force?" Kingsley asked. He was really surprised by how she was reacting.

"Then I suggest that your Aurors ensure that their Last Will and testaments are kept up to date. Good day… Minister Shaklebolt" McGonagall slammed the door with such force that the candle holder hanging from the ceiling came tumbling down.

#

"Of all the insufferable idiots" McGonagall fumed.

"I take it that your meeting didn't go well?" asked her companion.

"That would be an understatement" McGonagall replied.

"So now what do we do?" asked the other woman.

"We sit back and wait for them to come back" McGonagall replied, and Ginerva Molly Weasley simply hoped that she could get what she had been promised by Dumbledore – even if he was now dead.

#

They met in Ron's bedroom inside the newly rebuilt Burrow, and the two discussed the latest news together.

"I can't believe that he would have done something like this" Ron said to Ginny.

"Neither can I" she replied, "I only hope that we get what we was promised in exchange for helping Dumbledore" and Ron nodded.

"If he has touched my Hermione, then Potter will die. Don't care if he is yours, Gin" and Ginny smiled.

"Just let me get married to him first" the youngest and only female Weasley child said, "Then you can kill him. And that leaves me with all of his money. After you get some of it of course" she added.

"I mean the first year was easy to do" Ron grinned, "I mean it was Charlie that got Harry into trouble the first time round with him giving that Hagrid oaf a dragon egg. Pity it didn't kill the bushy bearded git before we had to give it back to Charlie" Ron said regretfully.

"Imagine what we can do with all the money that Harry Potter has control of" Ginny said, and she and her brother began making plans on what they would be spending the money on.

"A pity that Fred and George refused to take part in the deal" Ron said absently.

"More money for us" his sister reminded him.

"Good point there Ginny" Ron answered, and he went back to making his list out.

#

While all this was going on, Harry, Lavender and Parvati went round the camp site to make sure that no trace of their visit would be left behind – after all, it was a National Forest which had to be kept clean. Hermione and Luna were concerned with making sandwiches for the journey ahead that day, as well as putting some soft drinks in the smaller of the two fridges. Dean and Seamus did a little tidy up of the living area, and ensured that the folding dining table was securely fastened into it's own little space. Once everything was done, Harry climbed into the driver's seat, and after starting the engine he drove them out of the forest and onto the road.

"I wish I could see the looks of people after that article was published" Luna said from one of the jump seats. Harry smiled and then looked at the clock – it showed the time as being 4.30am.

"Anybody care to see what this can do flat out?" he asked, and the others agreed.

"Lets go for it" Hermione said from the front passenger seat.

"In that case," Harry said, "All hands to battlestations! Set condition one throughout the ship!" and those still standing made for the jump seats Harry had installed behind the main seats at the front. Once Dean and Parvati sat down and strapped themselves in the jump seats, Harry made a check of all the dashboard displays, before switching from petrol to magic power and put his foot on the pedal and down to the floor. The camper van rocketed forward and the Speedo needle shot forwards and went to the end in less then three seconds. Harry kept it going until he felt that he might have to slow down as he got near the motorways. What he didn't know was that he had passed a police car with a speedcam fitted to the front of it.

#

"Did you see that Sarge!?" exclaimed the young constable.

"I'm not all that sure" replied the sergeant, and he checked the camera to see what the speed was of the speeding camper van. The result shocked both officers – _1015 MPH_. and the camper had to be accelerating still after it passed.

"Are we going to follow?" asked the young PC.

"How are we even going to report this?" replied the Sergeant.

#

The gang stopped over at Great Yarmouth where Harry hired a small motor boat and the group explored some of the beautiful Norfolk broads. Harry left the camper van parked up in the train station car park while they travelled in the boat, and he made sure that several strong security charms sat upon it. After they had returned, the group went about the town and rode on yet another Routemaster before returning to the camper van for the run to the south coast – taking a diversion to avoid London. The run to London would be amongst the last parts of the trip.

#

"This is brilliant" Lavender said as she watched the planes whizzing over head.

"Amazing the things muggles do without magic" Parvati commented.

"We used to get along with it" said Harry and Hermione together. Hermione was leaning into Harry's chest as they sat on a hill and watched the planes doing the annual air display over the town.

"When are they getting here?" asked Neville, watching Luna bring out some cold beers from the camper's fridge.

"About five minutes or so" replied Seamus who was looking at the programme. "I always loved watching them doing acrobatics when I was younger" and Dean nodded.

"Same here, my good friend, same here" he said, and Harry looked into the skies and felt the warmth of Hermione bathe his stomach. A few minutes passed and then Harry could hear the drone of propeller driven aircraft coming from behind them. He turned round and saw the planes they had all wanted badly to see.

"Here they are" Harry said, and he pointed to them as the group stood up. Harry snapped his fingers and they appeared on the top of the camper van which made for better viewing. In the skies, looking as good as the day they first flew came a remarkable sight – the entire squadron had turned for the event. In living memory no body had ever seen all of the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight turn up. The centre piece was the Avro Lancaster – one of the grand old ladies of the skies. A pair of Hawker Hurricanes flew alongside her off her port and starboard wings as if acting as her escort. Surrounding them flew the queens of the skies, and five Supermarine Spitfires flew in a pentagon formation – One in front, one to port, one to starboard and two at the rear. The drone of the Merlin and Griffin engines sounded like some of the best sounds that Harry had ever heard, and the group watched as they did several flybys of the town and the bay area before turning away and flying off back to the nearby base for re-fuelling in order to return to their home base.

"Here comes the last ones" said Seamus said, and he was right. A flight of three Gloster Gladiators flew over the harbour in the same colours as the three most famous ones 50 odd years ago in Malta.

"I wonder why they are in funny colours" Hermione said, for once at a loss to explain something to do with history. "I know they are in wartime markings, but they still look odd" and it was Harry who explained.

"Those planes are flying in the same colours as _Faith_, _Hope_ and _Charity_. Those three outdated planes held out against the most modern stuff the Germans and the Italians had to offer. Only one survives and it is in Malta's Royal Museum" and he went silent as the Gladiators dipped their bi wings in salute as the closure and then the airshow was over with. A snap of Harry's fingers and they returned to the ground and he looked at them as they sat inside the camper.

"Tomorrow we will have to return to London like we said we would. I just hope that nobody attacks us when we appear in the Ministry" he said.

"Well they would have to get past us first" Hermione said defiantly and the others nodded agreement. Harry then noticed that Seamus and Parvati had vanished. He looked out the windows but couldn't see them.

"Where have Seamus and Lavender gone?" he asked.

"I think they…" Luna was cut off by the sounds of clothing being thrown to the ground and the camper van starting to sway.

"Anyone for fish and chips?" Harry asked, and they said yes and dived out of the camper van and started to walk towards the main road to catch a bus into town. Harry knew that the medicine cabinet contained five contraception potions – Hermione had used one which left four on the shelf – how many would be there when the six returned?

#

They both lay in the other's arms until Parvati turned over onto her back and lay against Seamus. Both teens were flushed but committed the experience to memory and they stayed silent until Seamus spoke.

"Are you alright?" he asked Parvati.

"A little out of breath, but I'm fine" she replied, "How are you?" the girl asked. As a reply to that, Seamus started to trace up Parvati's stomach with a finger tip before ending up at her breasts. He used the finger to trace the area where her nipples were and he felt them harden just a little under the layers of clothing.

"That answer you?" he asked, allowing his Irish accent to flower a little bit.

"Adventurous person aren't we?" Parvati giggled.

"I do my best, Parvati" Seamus replied. "So now what do we do?" he asked her, and Parvati bit her lip before getting up from Seamus, and going over to the door and locking it.

"You" was her one worded reply and she returned to the bed and stood in front of her boyfriend. There was a few seconds of them looking at each other before Parvati reached behind her and released the knot that held the sari she was wearing together. Normally she would wear jeans, t-shirts and all the stuff that girls her age wore, but the weather that day dictated something a little cooler. The sari dropped to the floor in a little pile to reveal a very _VERY_ small bra and panties set, and Seamus became almost instantly hard. He looked at her smooth stomach and her smooth, rounded breasts straining against the thin material that contained them. Parvati slid onto the bed, and began undoing Seamus's belt and then removing his jeans and his shirt.

"Oh my god" he managed to get out before Parvati started exploring his mouth with her tongue.

#

The six found a nice fish and chip shop on the harbour front, and they purchased some before sitting and watching the ships going in and out of the harbour.

"Do you think that we will have charges to face when we end up at the Ministry?" asked Hermione.

"I would think that they would try it" Lavender replied.

"But Harry will think of something" Dean said, "He always does" and Harry smiled.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked his fellow Gryffindor, "Modify the memories of hundreds of people?"

"Why not?" asked Luna.

"I'll think about it" Harry laughed, and they finished their chips before heading towards a quiet and shaded passageway behind the shops. Once he was sure that no muggles where around or watching them, Harry apparated the group back to the camper van. It had stopped moving and so Harry led the way inside to find a fully dressed Parvati and Seamus drinking tea.

"Oh I see you woke up" Harry said sarcastically.

"Oh well I was tossing and turning" Seamus began.

"But I helped calm him down" Parvati finished. The others rolled their eyes before Lavender went to make tea for the newly arrived group.

"You do know that it is time that we started back towards London?" Harry said as they sat around the seating area.

"But we will stand with you" Neville said, "We've done so before" and Harry looked at him with a puzzled expression.

"But they might put you under arrest and place you all on trial" he told them.

"Well I for one would like to see them try it with me" Hermione said.

"And that goes for me" said Luna, and the others also voiced their agreement.

"Well then, let us forget about tomorrow and get ourselves royally pissed and watch some films" Hermione suggested.

"Sounds good" Harry said.

"Bring on the drink" said Seamus.

"Count me in" Luna said.

"Point me towards the nearest bottle" was Parvati's contribution.

"I'll get the popcorn started" said Neville.

"And I'll start on the snacks" said Lavender. The one thing that Harry did was to put on the TV and watch some news so that he knew what was going on in the Muggle world. Once he saw the headlines, he switched it over to the video channel and opened the cabinet with all the films in.

"Anyone have anything in particular?" he called.

"Anything with some good action in it will do" Lavender called, and so Harry pulled out a half dozen videos to play. In no particular order he selected: _The Hunt For Red October, Crimson Tide, Licence to Kill, Sharpe's Regiment_ and _The Battle of Britain_. He was almost going to close the cabinet when he reached out and pulled a seventh video – _The Dambusters_. Harry knew it was one of Hermione's favourite films. The snacks and popcorn came first, followed by the beer in the fridge that was left open. Hermione charmed the fridge to stay cold so the stuff inside didn't get warm, and also so they could simply Accio themselves a bottle or can when they wanted another one. Harry turned off all the lights so they could watch the films better while Neville closed the curtains on all of the windows and also turned the front windscreen dark black so no sunlight obstructed their view. Harry fast forwarded the tape past the adverts and warnings before he played it at normal speed in time for the opening credits of _The Battle of Britain_. A good evening and night was had by all as they celebrated the last night of their epic road trip, and Harry made a note before he got too drunk to make multiple recordings of the memories from everyone to put into Pensives so that they could all remember everything that had happened. When he went to the toilet in between two films, he set his bedroom clock to wake him up at around 5.30am as he needed to finish the modifications to the camper van – and that included checking out the weapons.

"I wish we had some champagne to drink" Hermione said, eating cheese and crackers.

"I'll get some now if you all want" Harry offered, and the result was a cry of yes from all concerned. He went outside into the darkness where he apparated from the spot and arrived in a deserted spot in Calais near a hyper market. Checking that his Gringotts cards where still in his pocket, he went inside and purchased three packs of the most expensive stuff they had, and then picked up a couple of bottles of the local brew. He took them outside on one of the trolleys until he was sure that he was not being watched, and then he lightened the load before apparated back to the camper van.

"That'll do" was the chorus of voices. Harry put the beer and wine in the fridge before getting some ice and putting it in a bucket for the champagne – charming the ice to remain frozen of course. He settled down to watch _Sharpe's Regiment_. They got through the rest of films while getting drunker and drunker but all eight of them managed to stay awake for the last film – _Licence to Kill_. They shouted out some of the lines at the same time they got spoken on the screen, including the immortal line "If it hadn't been for Q branch, you'd have been dead years ago". Harry liked the film because it showed Bond was not afraid to break orders in order to do the right thing.

"That slurwast grayet" slurred a sizzled Seamus. Harry was about to call it all off before he decided that they need the one film made for booze parties.

"Does anyone want to watch one last film?" he asked, forcing every word to come out normally.

"Deepenndds" said Luna, falling back into the seat she had just got out of.

"We need to zleep" said Hermione, wobbling violently on the spot.

"Rocky. Horror. Picture. Show" Harry said in one word sentences.

"Well we can stay awake for that" Dean said.

"Certainly" Parvati said, nursing a cold bottle of carling to herself.

"WOOOO HOOOO!" said Neville. Harry grinned as he ejected the tape inside the video player and replaced it with _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_. The most sober thought he could muster – bearing in mind he was well past being drunk – was that they would all have headaches in the morning.

**A/N:**

**So he we are, the penultimate chapter of this fic.**

**We see the reaction of the wizarding world to the article he had published, and that some people have dark plans concerning some of the group. I have a very funny way to end the fic, so be prepared for the wackiest chapter yet! I assure you that this surpasses the Womble moment from True Friends, and is on the same scale as the flying Hogwarts from the same fic. So I hope you liked the chapter and I would like to know what you think of it.**

**If you want a clue or two for the next chapter, then here you go. Apparating and remember that Harry has those guns in that under seat storage locker!**

**I would like to thank everyone who has stuck up for me over the last few days, and that twit can simply go to hell as far as I am concerned. As for the mistakes in spelling, that is explained quite easily. You all know (I told you in previous chapters and updates), that I have a new computer. I am still in the process of adding the words from the HP universe to to the PC's dictionary – so bugger anyone sideways if they want me to re-write THE ENTIRE catalogue of my stories. Not happening. If you want a fight, desaries0220, then you have one!**

**Regards**

**Pixel.**

**PS: I am giving you a choice of two endings**

**1) Harry ubmits to Kingsley and is placed under house arrest.**

**2) Harry does dramatic things.**

**Up to you to decide**


	9. The Seventh Day

**The Seventh Day**

**Or**

**Kingsley Shaklebolt gets Stomach Ache**

The ministry was working overtime in order to prepare for the arrival of Harry and his friends. Aurors had been stationed on all of the roads leading into London in order to detect Harry's magical signature. As Harry had cast an undetectable charm on the camper van, it was no good and so the Aurors spent the night a little bit cold.

#

Lavender closed and locked her bedroom door, and then turned to the other occupant and spoke.

"I'm not pressuring you into doing this. You can back out if you want to" she said.

"I want this as much as you" Dean said. He moved closer to her and held her in his arms as he kissed her on the lips. Lavender moaned as he pressed his lips to hers and when Dean pulled back, she had a slightly dreamy look about her.

"That was wonderful" she said, "You love me right?" lavender asked Dean.

"Of course" Dean replied.

"Then prove it" Lavender replied, and she pulled him towards the bed. Dean ran his hand up and down the sides of Lavender who shivered with excitement. Then he started to trace round her breasts and a content smile passed over Lavender's face. Dean took this for a good sign and he slowly lowered his hands to the bottom of her T-shirt and pulled it up and over her head – removing it without much effort.

"Mmm" Lavender said, and then she did the same for Dean.

#

Harry was the first to rise as he almost always was, and he showered and dressed before going into the seating area. Instead of making a cup of tea or coffee to drink there, Harry had something else to do first. He went outside and transfigured a rock into a deckchair and sat on it and watched the sun coming up – something he had always wanted to do. Once it was up, he stood and folded the deckchair and took it to his room as a keepsake. Harry went into the galley to discover that Lavender, Parvati, Luna and Neville working in it.

"Morning, Harry" Neville said.

"Hi, Nev. Hi ladies" Harry said, "I guess that you are doing breakfast then?" he asked.

"We thought it fitting that we do it for a change" Lavender said, "I know we did it before, but you deserve a break" and Harry nodded.

"Coffee or Tea?" asked Parvati.

"Tea please" Harry replied, and then looked at Luna gazing out of a window. "Anything on the Nargle front today?" he asked the blonde.

"Nope" she replied brightly, "But I know something is going to happen today" Luna added. She seemed so certain that Harry had to ask her exactly how she knew.

"Did the Nargles tell you?" he asked.

"Haven't seen them at all today" she said.

"So how do you know?" Harry asked as Luna set down his tea.

"My spider senses are tingling" she winked and then turned to go back to the galley. Harry smiled at the retreating blonde and then put the TV on to watch the early morning news… and to catch an episode of Sesame Street. As he did he heard the girls and Neville talk about Lavender's relationship with Dean.

"He is sooo strong" Lavender said.

"He is lucky to have you" Neville pointed out.

"True" agreed Luna.

"You'll make a nice couple" Parvati put in, and Harry couldn't resist being a little cheeky about his friend's love life.

"You like Dean for the same reason that you like Coffee with no milk or sugar" he said, keeping his eyes on the TV. Big Bird was attempting to play hopscotch.

"And why is that?" Lavender asked.

"Well forgive me if I am wrong, but I was under the impression that you liked something hot, black and strong inside you!" Harry replied, and Lavender immediately turned crimson all over. The others looked at Harry with open mouths, not quite believing that Harry James Potter had spoken like that.

"Is Hermione going to be up soon?" asked Neville.

"I expect so" Harry said, "She had to sleep in my room for some of last night" and his face remained its normal colour. "She couldn't get to sleep" he added.

"Did you keep her up all night?" Parvati accused Harry.

"I thought that it was always the girl that kept a boy up" Lavender shot away.

"Touché" and Harry saluted Lavender before Neville went out the camper van to get the paper from Diagon Alley – Harry having made a Portkey to get to Grimmauld Place the day before.

#

"I'd like a paper please" Neville said, disguised with the aid of several charms.

"Certainly" replied the receptionist at the _Prophet_'s front desk. "Just for our records, what is your name and occupation?" she enquired.

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the North, and General of the Felix Legions" and Neville picked up the paper and activated the Portkey.

"Mr Summers!" shouted the receptionist, "It's happened again!"

#

Breakfast was over with, pots washed and cleaned, and the group sat around in the sitting area. Harry looked at them all before standing up to speak.

"In a little while, I'll be starting the engine and taking us towards London. No doubt the Ministry will want to place me under arrest, and they will probably want to question you all. I'm giving you a chance to leave and go back to your families or to some other place" he said, and Hermione was the first to speak after he had finished.

"The Ministry might well do that to you and even to us, but I for one am going to stick around with you. You stood by me with Draco Malfoy kept making fun of me, you told people not to call me names, ad I am going to stay with you" the bushy haired girl said, and then she sat down. One by the one the others also chose to stay with Harry and it was Luna who asked Harry what he was planning on doing for a surprise ending.

"That, my dear Luna, is the best part. Now I…"

#

WELCOME TO LONDON said the sign as they went past it. Harry was driving towards central London while the other seven packed up their clothes, books, knick knacks and general things to remind them of the time they had spent together. Once they where close to the target, Harry pulled the camper into a quiet alley way, and went back into the main area.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready!" replied the other seven at the same time. Harry grinned at them before heading towards one of the seats and pulling the seat cushion forwards towards him.

#

"I want Aurors stationed all over the Atrium" Kingsley ordered.

"That would mean…" started one of the Senior Aurors.

"I don't care how you do it" Kingsley yelled, "JUST DO IT!" and the Aurors thundered away. In one of the notes Harry had sent back to the Ministry a few days before, he had said that he would appear in the Atrium at 10am today. Kingsley would at last force Harry to surrender and hand himself over so that they could lock the brat away. It was always Dumbledore's intention to take over the Ministry after the end of the war – the result of which was never in any doubt. If Harry defeated Voldemort and was killed himself, then Dumbledore would pass laws so that he could take control of the Potter fortune. If Voldemort was defeated and Harry survived, then Dumbledore would have put Harry in Azkaban for murder with no trial, _and_ taken over the Potter fortune for his own use. Kingsley would ensure that Dumbledore's plans would be carried out as he owed him that much and more.

#

Harry watched as his friends geared up for the upcoming battle, and he wondered what was going to happen to them all. While everyone was gearing up, Harry had removed, shrunk and then stored all of the breakables in the trunk. When he was done, Harry returned to the living area. They stood looking at him as if they expected some kind of speech.

"In a few moments I'm going to be Apparating us into the Ministry atrium, and they will try to arrest us. This might turn out good, but some of us might get injured" Harry said.

"What's your point?" asked Dean.

"My point is that you can go back to your families" Harry replied, "I wouldn't think any less of you. You've done all you can but I must do this alone" he added, and Neville looked at his fellow Gryffindor.

"We're wasting time" he said, "We should go to the Ministry, fight and disarm the Aurors and then turn the tables and arrest Kingsley" Neville added. Harry looked at each of his friends before nodding his head.

"Well last chance" he said, "So who is in?" he asked, "Luna?", and Luna's eyes gleamed with amusement.

"Aye sir" she replied, and the others knew she had been watching _Star Trek III: The Search For Spock_.

"Dean?"

"Aye sir"

"Neville?"

"Aye sir"

"Seamus?"

"Aye sir"

"Lavender?"

"Aye sir"

"Parvati?"

"Aye sir"

"Hermione?"

"I'd appreciate if you gave the word, Admiral" she quoted.

"The word is given" Harry said. "May the wind be at our backs. Stations please!" and he watched as the group picked up the guns and attached them to the hard points they had used before.

"All ready" Parvati reported.

"Stand by to jump" Harry called, and he attached the gun to the bracket and held on to a handle. "JUMP!" and Harry used his power to apparate the entire camper van to the Ministry.

#

"Do doo do doodoo doo do doo do dooo" and the Aurors saw the camper van appear in the middle of the Atrium to the sound of the novelty horn Harry and Dean had installed the other day.

"It's Potter!" said one of the waiting Aurors. And they started to attack the camper with all of the spells they could think. When _Stupefy_ didn't work, they switched to blasting spells and succeeded in reducing the power of the shield charm Harry was projecting. What they couldn't see was the guns pointing at them, and they stopped to look at the damage they had caused. The shield charm was reduced to a distance of just past the outside of the camper van. All around the stone wall where it had apparated, deep gouges testified to the power of the assault. Then one of the tiny windows opened and a voice came out.

#

"THIS IS HARRY POTTER SPEAKING!" Harry shouted loudly, "WE DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU, BUT WE WILL DEFEND OURSELVES. KINGSLEY SHAKLEBOLT SENT AURORS TO TRY AND CAPTURE MYSELF SO THAT HE COULD USE ME AS A KIND OF SUPER WEAPON!" and Harry paused for breath, and before he continued, a voice rang out.

"IF YOU SURRENDER NOW, POTTER" It was Shaklebolt's voice, "I WILL ALLOW YOUR FRIENDS TO LEAVE WITHOUT PUNISHMENT. BUT ONLY IF YOU SURRENDER NOW. IF NOT, THEN MY AURORS ARE AUTHORISED TO USE DEADLY FORCE TO STOP YOU" and Harry turned to look at the others.

"I think he means it" he said.

"No shit, Sherlock" Hermione said, and she fingered the trigger on her gun.

"IS THIS AN UNCONDICTIONAL SURRENDER?" Harry shouted back.

"YES" was the reply.

"I'M SORRY" Harry yelled over to him, "BUT WE HAVENT GOT THE PROPPER FACILITIES TO TAKE YOU ALL PRISONER… SORRY!" and then he ducked as all of the Aurors sent a blasting spell at his shield. The first four took it down, and then the rest hit the side of the camper and it shook badly.

"Damn it to hell!" Parvati said.

"Let them have it!" Harry said, and the whole side of the camper van erupted into life. It rippled with firepower and they all aimed to hurt the Aurors, and not to kill them. The Aurors gave as good as they got, and deep scars appeared in the side of the camper van. Harry called for a halt, and the guns fell silent.

"What are you doing?" asked Seamus as he saw Harry leave his gun and go for the door.

"I'm going to try and get some sense into this prick" Harry said, and before anyone could stop him, Harry was outside the camper van.

"So you are surrendering" sneered Kingsley.

"I've come to speak" Harry replied. "We have been on a peaceful little holiday, and the Ministry have tried to arrest me and put me away in Azkaban. This is all because Albus Dumbledork wanted my fortune from the Potter vaults. The Minister here was one of his followers and he wishes to continue the plot Dumbledore started" and Kingsley turned several shades of red and purple.

"He lies" the man said to the Aurors who – either injured or not – looked at him. "If he was going to be peaceful, then why did he start shooting at us?" he asked, and there was no answer. "All we wanted to do was to keep Harry Potter safe from harm!" he added.

"If that is the case, then why did the Minister issue orders that Aurors could kill me on sight if they needed to?" Harry said, and Shaklebolt snapped.

"I have had enough of you" he said, and went for his wand. "_Adavra Keda…_" and that was all he got out before multiple bangs came from behind Harry, and something ripped into his body – killing him.

#

"He lies" the man said to the Aurors who – either injured or not – looked at him. "If he was going to be peaceful, then why did he start shooting at us?" he asked, and there was no answer. "All we wanted to do was to keep Harry Potter safe from harm!" he added.

"This is going to go badly" Neville said.

"I'm not so sure" Luna said to him, and they listened to the shouting match going on outside.

"If that is the case, then why did the Minister issue orders that Aurors could kill me on sight if they needed to?" Harry said, and Shaklebolt snapped.

"I have had enough of you" he said, and went for his wand.

"He's going for his wand!" Lavender and Seamus at the same time.

"_Adavra Keda…_"

"OPEN FIRE!" Hermione yelled, and all seven of the occupied Browning .303 guns swivelled in the brackets and they opened up on Kingsley. The sounds made Harry duck and they went over his head and went into the man who had nearly killed Harry. The man jerked like he was a puppet on a string, and kept that way until the drums went empty.

"GO! GO! GO!" yelled Luna, and they all switched to the weapons they had used the first time they had been attacked in the camper van, and rushed out of the van, past Harry and covered all of the Aurors. The Aurors took a look at Kingsley's dead body which was pouring blood out, then looked at the smoking of the Brownings which hung limply out of the windows, then at each other before throwing down their wands and putting hands above heads.

"Stun those Aurors who are in one piece, and who that attacked us" and the group stunned a good thirty or so. The others either had not taken part in the attack or had been injured in some way. Harry went round and helped to heal the injured as best he could before he had them sent to St Mungos. The other Aurors didn't move as they feared being killed like the broken body lying on the stone floor before them. What they didn't know was that the guns had no ammunition inside them – they all held empty clips. The exception was Harry's .357 Magnum and he pulled it out of the holster, thumbed off the safety and empty the gun into Kingsley body. "Just to make sure" he said.

"Harry?" Hermione's voice reached him, and he saw her pointing at the camper van. The trusty warhorse had decided that its duty was over, and was now slowly burning out.

"NOW I'M FUCKING PISSED OFF!" and Harry cast many spells to stop the van from being destroyed.

#

It was many weeks before the uproar was over, and the group had been cleared of all charges. This was made possible by Pensive recordings, Veritaserum and by the fact that a lot of Aurors had given sworn statements to the investigation. Harry kept his promise to Hermione and the two of them got married n the grounds of Hogwarts. The guest of honour was the newly restored camper van which was parked in the front row of the all the guests. As Hermione's parents had been killed before they reached Australia, it also acted as father of the bride. It made an odd sight with Hermione walking up a very large aisle with her hand holding on to the left hand wing mirror. But it was what Hermione wanted, and that was what Harry ensured she got. It was driven of course under magical power by Dean. That had been several days before and it was almost time for Harry's and the group's final year at Hogwarts. Luna of course would be staying for another year.

"This is going to be sad" Hermione remarked as she curled up on Harry's lap.

"Our last year" Neville said. "Still with no Voldemort, no Dumbledore and no Ministry on our backs, we have nothing to worry about except our exams" and Seamus groaned.

"No pressure then" he said. Lavender and Parvati had been wondering what they would do for the last few days.

"I have no idea" Harry said. Parvati and Padma's family had been killed during the reign of terror, so Harry invited them to stay with him, and Parvati looked up from the magazine she was reading.

"A pity that we missed out some of the things we wanted to do" she said.

"I wish we could go to that pub again" Lavender said, "Bloody good it was as well" and Dean nodded.

"We could meet up with that Robert and Joe" he said, "And see what they are up to" the boy finished.

"That road trip was great fun" Luna said, "And we got to spend it together as friends" and as Hermione moved back to her seat, Harry looked over to where the shrunken camper van was sitting on the mantelpiece.

"How about we do it again – but the other way this time?" he asked, and everyone agreed to do another Great Hogwarts Road Trip.

**A/N:**

**Well I hope you liked the final chapter, as much as I liked writing it.**

**Two (three) references here: Star Trek (Two different films though) and A Bridge Too Far.**

**The bit about the camper van was a late addition to the mix to be honest. What happened was that I had finished the wedding bit, but then I was thinking about the camper van, and decided… "Ahhh what the hell…" and therefore decided to have the camper van act as Hermione's father. PLEASE tell me you liked that bit **

**I was going to post this on Christmas day, but I decided to let you all have one present early.**

**Please note that OHM666 is now banned for all time for reasons you will see in his last review for my fic Harry Potter True Friends.**

**Now I have a deal for you all. The Submarauder – a good friend of mine – is running a poll concerning his new fic. He has several of them, but I would like to do a little vote rigging – and I need your help. I want you to vote for 'Living in Darkness'. If you do, then there will be a 10,000 word present for you on Christmas Day.**

**I hope that I can count on your support**

**Regards**

**Pixel**


	10. The Eighth Day

**The Eighth Day**

**Or**

**Operation Fun House**

**or**

**The Chapter Of This Fic Which Is Full Star Trek References Because Pixel Wants To Put Them All In.**

One thing remained to do before they went on the trip back up towards Hogwarts, and Harry was looking forward to it indeed. He had spent the quiet days after honeymoon was over in order to get the evidence he needed but it was all collected in, and Harry was looking forward to the thing. Apart from himself and Hermione, the others had all joined him in the camper van for the little trip to Ottery St Catchpole. As he left the room and entered the living room, his mind wondered on what Griphook had told him.

# # # # #

"_The Weasley family have been slowly draining money from your vaults" said Griphook._

"_How and when?" asked Harry. Hermione, Lavender, Luna, Parvati, Dean, Seamus and Neville sat on chairs in the office at Gringotts._

"_It was done by presenting letters by Mrs Weasley. They all bore you signature, Harry" Griphook said. and just then something occurred to Harry._

"_The last time I came to Gringotts was during my third year" he said, "After that, Mrs Weasley always went for me. Much safer for me or so I was told. Who exactly has been taking the money?" Harry asked._

"_Mr and Mrs Weasley, William Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Percival Weasley, Ronald Weasley and Ginerva Weasley" Griphook read the names off one of the sheets of parchment._

"_Not the twins?" asked Neville._

"_It seems that they did take the money, but would put it back into Mr Potter's accounts" said the Goblin._

"_Well at least we can trust them" said Hermione._

"_That's something" Luna added._

"_What do you wish to do?" asked Griphook._

"_Is there any way you can retrieve the money?" asked Harry, slowly thinking of a plan._

"_It can be done in an hour or so's time" Griphook said, and Harry nodded._

"_Do that" he said, and a message was sent to other Goblins that Harry wanted his money back. They talked a little while before a Goblin came in and passed Griphook a large folder. He looked through it before looking up at Harry._

"_An interesting situation has arisen. It seems that two things got overlooked and just got discovered during the retrieval of the money. The first is slightly alarming for Mrs Potter" and Hermione looked at the senior bank manager._

"_What do you mean?" she asked darkly._

"_It seems that Mr and Mrs Weasley entered Harry into a betrothal contract in 1994" Griphook said, "Though your marriage to Harry has cancelled that out. If he had not married you, then he would have been forced to marry Miss Weasley. The other thing is that you, by some quirk of fate, own the Weasley home" and a grin spread over the Goblin's face. "You can do anything you want to it" Griphook explained._

"_Would that include say… demolishing it?" asked Harry – plan forming in his mind once again._

"_Indeed"_

"_Then I think I will demolish the house, and I know just they way to do it" and Harry started to explain his plan._

# # # # #

"Is everything ready?" asked Harry as he saw Hermione. His wife came over and kissed him on the lips before answering.

"The twins just sent us the stuff" she answered, and then gestured outside where Harry could see Dean, Seamus and Neville working on the large attachments which had appeared on the side of the camper van. It would not be affecting the handling so much as Harry had driven the van minus the attachments on, and he would be apperating it to the Burrow tomorrow anyway. All that needed to be done was to manoeuvre the van so it faced the Weasley's home.

"How are you doing?" asked Harry to his fellow Gryffindors.

"It is taking time, but we are getting there" said Dean.

"You know what Griphook said about the wards. We don't want them detecting our wands being used nearby" Harry said, and then started to give them a hand.

The newly strengthened team was putting on a large 9 metre metal tube on the right side of the camper. Each tube could hold up to three large containers filled to the brim with explosives – only the back was equipped with a primitive propulsion device and steering equipment. The team consisting of Lavender, Parvati and Luna were busy doing the same sort of thing on the other side, but waited to get help from the boys after they had finished. Harry had got the idea for his plan from watching Star Trek over the summer and during the camper trip. While _Bombarda_ would do the trick just as well – if not more powerful – sometimes you had to do things with style. After attaching both tubes onto the sides, they checked out the two large weapons mounted on the front on the top and bottom of the van. It was different to how it had been on the trip as Harry had expected it would be, but he was glad of the fact it could all be put back together again once the operation was over. The Aurors who had alerted to possible trouble the next day, had seen what Harry had planned and had liked his plans. After the Ministry battle, and the death of Kingsley Shaklebolt, they had asked Harry and the group to give hem some basic training in muggle firearms. They had done so, but they had not been taught everything and simply been given pistols. The two large attachments to the front seemed to work, though Harry was not testing them under power. They all went back inside to see that Hermione had finished modifying the rear section of the interior. Where the sitting and dining area had been, now stood an elaborate sensor suite. The consoles could access three small dishes on the front which picked up on any magic in the area. All that was going on was the magical associated by the Burrow and Luna's home which was nearby. There was a small console built into the top left corner. The rest held controls for the weapons that would be used in the morning. The forward section still contained the rooms and the kitchen, but they ate in the driving area. Hermione stood up from the consoles and wiped her hands on the overalls she was wearing.

"That's it" she said with a big smile, "Everything is ready for tomorrow" and Harry thanked her and the others for their efforts.

"I can not wait to see the faces of those Weasleys in the morning" Neville grinned.

"Neither can I" Harry assured him, "Neither can I. Now we better get something to eat before we drop from hunger" and they cleaned up before tucking into Seamus's Irish stew.

"This is great" Lavender said. "What is it? It wasn't like this on the road trip" she added.

"Secret ingredient" Seamus said.

"Do you have anymore of the secret ingredient?" asked Harry and the Irish boy nodded before handing over the bottle of Irish whiskey to everyone in turn. After they had finished, they settled down in the driving area and the area behind it which Harry had put bean bags in, so that they could listen to the Wizard Wireless. After a few minutes Harry turned it over to the muggle radio and they had a good time listening to The Last Night of the Proms on the BBC. It was midnight before they all turned in, and Harry took the first watch on the sensors in case anyone came near them. If they did, then Harry would go out and stun them – nothing could be allowed to interfere with the devilishly fiendish plot Harry and group would unleash.

#

"Are you sure want to do this?" asked Hermione that night.

"Yes" Harry replied, "They stuffed my life, and so I'll stuff theirs. I've made sure though that they have somewhere to go though" he added. Hermione kissed him on the lips, and then cuddled up to him.

"Oh?"

"Malfoy Manor"

"What about their personal possessions?" asked his wife, trying hard not to laugh at the thought in her head of the Weasleys in Malfoy Manor.

"Aurors will go in the morning at a certain time and get it all into trunks and out of the house. They will not take any other action but to do that" Harry said.

"You know the Weasleys are going to go nuts and try to attack us right?" Hermione said, and Harry nodded.

"That is why Dean, Seamus and Neville will be providing cover" he replied, and then he went back to what he was doing.

#

"This is crazy" Neville said.

"I'm the expert on craziness, and this is not even close" Luna said.

"While I don't mind making love to you, Luna" Neville said, "I just have the feeling that we are going to get caught" and Luna looked at him.

"I don't care" she said, and pressed her lips to his. She probed his mouth and gained entry for her tongue into his mouth. They battled it out whilst they held each other close, and then, whilst still kissing, Neville slowly unbuttoned Luna's dress and slid it down her body and it pooled around her feet. Somehow Luna managed to remove Neville's shirt without breaking lip contact, and then undid his belt and tugged down his jeans. They lay down on a blanket that was already set out on the ground, and they each began roving hands over bodies. Afterwards, they lay in the afterglow of lovemaking and Neville suddenly grinned and looked down to Luna's still wet inner core.

"What?" asked Luna.

"Well I think we know another place you can't find Snorkacks" Neville replied, and then pulled Luna close to kiss his fiancée again.

#

A series of red sparks shot up into the sky, and Harry saw the signal being given.

"That's the signal we've been waiting for" Harry said, and he turned to the others who stood in the area behind the cockpit. "Status report" he asked them all.

"Sensors are fully operation, Captain" Hermione said.

"Warp Drive is fully operational" added Parvati.

"Shield systems are standing by" said Neville.

"Weapons are offline but ready to be activated" Luna said.

"Hull integrity at 100%" said Seamus.

"Power is at 95 percent and charging" Dean said, reading from a small device he held in his hand.

"The tea making machine is at 100 percent and is working correctly"" lavender said.

"That's good said Harry, "No tea would have put a hex on the whole damn thing" and they all laughed. A second series of red sparks went up and Harry knew it was time. "Stations" he said, and when they all sat down at seats, Harry apparated the entire camper van to outside the Burrow. Harry opened the door and stepped out into the grounds surrounding the familiar building.

"HARRY!" said Molly Weasley, and she came running over. "We didn't know you had come back…" but she was stopped when she saw Harry pointing his wand at her.

"Don't you 'Harry' me" he said, "I know all about what happened between you lot and Dumbledore" and Molly could see Hermione sticking her head out of the rear right quarter of the camper van.

"You've not realised what you've done" Molly Weasley said, "You got hurt during the battle at Hogwarts. You married poor Hermione by mistake. We'll get your marriage dissolved, and then you can marry Ginny" and Harry snorted.

"I know about the wedding contract, and I know what you planned to do after a year of marriage" Harry said. "You plotted with Dumbledore to have me murdered after getting Ginny pregnant with my heir" and Mrs Weasley seemed to snap at the same time that the other Weasleys did.

"We'll get you divorced from that Mudblood slag" Ron yelled.

"And you will give me your heir so that we can get all of your money" Ginny said. The watching Aurors made a note of everything, but obeyed the orders they had received. None of them could intervene unless Unforgivables were used.

"I don't think so" Harry said, "And that is one of the reasons why you are standing outside with everything that you own in the trunks" and Arthur Weasley looked at him.

"Tell us why then" he said. "I'm a Ministry official so I could order these Aurors to arrest you if you do not go away" and Harry smiled.

"Why would I want to go away from what is mine?" he asked, and saw the looks on the faces of the Weasleys. "I own this house now and I want to demolish it" and Harry turned away from them.

"We'll fucking kill you first" said Ron, and he Ginny and Percy aimed their wands at Harry and let loose with cutting spells. Harry saw them reflected in the front of the camper van. He dived as it hit the camper van, causing several panels to come off as shrapnel.

"RED ALERT! SHIELDS UP!" Harry said, and the second lot of spells bounced off the shields produced by some of the group. The Weasleys went to blasting spells which shook the shields.

"They are weakening slowly" said Lavender, referring to the shields.

"I know" Harry said and looked at Hermione.

"Now?" asked his wife.

"Yeah" Harry said, getting back into the camper van. "Ready Phasers, standby forward torpedo tubes" and the large bits of tubing on the sides of the camper suddenly crackled with power, and the two large objects on the front glowed.

"Select targets one to five" Harry ordered. Hermione nodded while the pounding on the shields continued, and Hermione bent down to her consoles as she worked on the problem at hand.

"Shields at 75 percent" Dean said.

"Right" Harry said.

"Targets locked and ready" Hermione said.

#

The grandfather clock was the only thing left in the house. If anyone was inside to look at it, it would have shown the hands for the family at 'Mortal Peril'. Of course, no one was there to see it.

#

"Fire" said Harry, and the two large things on the front emitted a beam each coloured a redish orange of energy, and they reached their targets. Each of the Weasleys was hit, but Molly managed to get a shield up in time along with Ginny. Harry projected his voice outside. "This is a warning, I am about to destroy the house. Move away so you don't get hurt" but the two unstunned Weasleys began pouring assault upon assault on the shields and they went rapidly down.

"We can't hold them for much longer" Seamus said.

"Execute plan B" Harry ordered, and the people providing the shields switched with people with fresh reserves of magical power.

"That'll teach them" said Luna as she cast the spell.

"It certainly will" Parvati grinned at her.

"Torpedoes ready" Hermione said.

"Fire torpedoes" Harry said, and the camper van shook as the containers launched out of the metal tubes and flew in a straight line. The phasers fired as well to create large chunks of missing wall in the side of the house. The torpedoes, under Hermione's control, went straight inside the wholes and exploded inside the house. The whole building groaned as it started to come apart. Massive explosions ripped through all of the house as debris flew into the surrounding area., and the ground trembled with the force unleashed by the camper van. Harry went back outside after it stopped raining bricks, wood and everything else.

"What have you done?" shrieked Mrs Weasley.

"You'll pay for this, Potter!" said Ron and Ginny. They both pointed their wands at Harry. "_Cruci…_" they got cut off as the Aurors sent the wands spinning high into the air. Some rather nice shooting of the phasers allowed Hermione to vaporise them whilst still going up.

"Put them under arrest" Harry said to the Aurors.

"On what charges?" asked one Auror as he covered his partner whilst she bound them in restraining cuffs.

"Using Unforgivables, conspiracy to commit murder, aiding and abetting a criminal, damaging private property and attacking and attempting to kill the Minister of Magic" Harry replied, and Mrs Weasley's jaw dropped.

"_You_ are the Minister for Magic?" she asked, and Harry nodded.

"Take them away" he ordered the Aurors, and then called out to them. "One more thing" Harry said, pointing his hand at the Weasley family. "_Accio Molly Weasley's wig_" and Mrs Weasley's hair suddenly came off her head and zoomed over to Harry's outstretched hand.

**A/N:**

**And that is really it, so I hope you enjoyed it very much. People wanted to see what happened to the Weasleys for plotting against Harry – and now you now.**

**I'm guessing that you can guess what TV and film series the main thing for this final chapter is for!**

**Reviews in the normal manner**

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